This is the second go around with this post for me. You see, I spent 2 hours this weekend putting together a comprehensive list of my 13 favorite horror flix for 2014. The kicker is that WordPress lost the post entirely. To my credit, I didn’t cry or curse or break anything.
So, here I am again, once bitten, twice shy. My reviews are short and sweet this time around, but you’ll all get the point.
I was very worried that I wouldn’t be able to find 13 horror movies worth noting this year. As of July, Oculus was my top pick. Egads! Thankfully, things picked up in the second half and I had a good group to choose from.
So, before WordPress deletes this post and me in the process, on with the show!
#13 – ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE
Funny, dark, twisted and downright strange at times. Come for the pretty cheerleaders, stay for the ultra strange story. Undead cheerleaders and magic go together like PB&J.
Sexy, gory and deliciously decadent. Paz de la Huerta oozes sex as a nurse by day who kills wayward men by night. A lesbian attachment to a new nurse is the catalyst for a nuclear explosion of a third act with enough blood to feed a colony of vampires.
Another solid horror flick from the James Wan gang. It has some genuinely creepy jump scares and a demon that’ll turn your bowels to water. The Annabelle doll is nothing like the actual possessed doll now under glass in the Lorraine Warren museum. Worth the watch while you wait for The Conjuring 2.
How do you top a movie about Nazi zombies? Pit them against Russian zombies! The comedy in this is as sharp as Dead Alive and the gore is goregeous. I think it’s even better than the first.
I LOVE alien movies. I picked this over Extraterrestrial by the Vicious Brothers because I felt this one was actually more frightening. The scene in the tunnel is worth the price of admission.
If you’re claustrophobic, this movie may land you in the nuthouse. Think Indiana Jones running around the Paris catacombs, that are terrifying in their own right. This is a very, very strange movie with tons of scary imagery. I compared it to the big daddy of funhouse rides.
I scoured the planet to find this Bobcat Goldthwait Bigfoot flick. A squatchman like myself couldn’t resist. The movie starts funny and gets downright eerie. The protracted scene of the couple in their tent makes for the tensest moment in horror cinema of the year.
This came out of nowhere and shocked the hell out of me. A ‘found footage’ possession movie that works! The actors look like real people and the mystery and scares are genuine. A great find on Netflix.
The Aussies know how to do horror. Mr. Babadook is a Dr. Caligari-esque children’s book that goes on to possess a 7 year old boy’s mother. Or is she? Turns out, she blames the boy for the death of his daddy on the day he was born. Great performances and a nuanced story with some super creepy moments.
I’m a Ti West fan, and I think this is his strongest movie yet. Set in a Jonestown-type compound, what makes this chilling is knowing that something like this can and has happened. The performance by Gene Jones as Father, the head of the cult, is the best of the year.
Another alien movie, this one centers on a young couple on their honeymoon at a family cabin during off season. Starring Rose Leslie (Ygritte on Game of Thrones), this one is sexy, scary and at turns, gut churning. A must watch.
Demented. That’s all I can say about this one. Oh, and funny, desperate, tragic, sick. Two down on their luck old friends get pulled into the orbit of a couple who make them do dumb shit for money. How far would you go to make easy cash, especially when you’re in desperate need of some greenbacks? Love this movie.
I know this won’t top anyone else’s list except maybe Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. What I loved is that this is a squatch movie where you actually see Bigfoot – and he’s pissed! Bigfoot has never been more terrifying. Fans of my book Swamp Monster Massacre will know exactly why this is my top flick of the year. Give me angry squatches and I’m yours.
Once again, Thanksgiving ruled. Great company, tons of food and my Seahawks won. Now, today is a day of rest for the Shea clan. I plan to do a lot of reading and work a tad on my novella.
For all you readers out there, today is a very special day for you. Samhain Publishing is having a huge Black Friday weekend sale, starting right now. Every single book in the store, print and ebook, is 30% off until Monday night.
So, if you’ve been on the fence about diving into the deep end of the horror pool, now’s your chance to take that leap.
You can catch up on any of my books you’ve missed for less than a cup of coffee. Here are the sweet deals waiting for you. Happy reading!
Hell Hole – ebook now $3.85, print $11.20
The Waiting – ebook now $2.45
Sinister Entity – ebook now $3.85, print $10.50
Swamp Monster Massacre – ebook now $2.45
Evil Eternal – ebook now $3.85, print $9.80
Forest of Shadows – ebook now $3.85, print $10.50
I’m writing this from deep in the abandoned copper mines in Hecla, Wyoming. It’s kinda dark in here but the internet access is surprisingly good. I just spotted a pair of rough hombres skulking around. They have the spirits all riled up. Hope they know what they’re doing.
As you may or may not know, my most recent novel, HELL HOLE, takes place right here in these mysterious hills. A pair of former Rough Riders plumb the very depths of these mines on the orders of none other than Teddy Roosevelt. What they encounter, well, let’s just say none of it’s good. Unless being harrassed by ghosts, black eyes kids, squatches and a whole host of craziness is your idea of a fun time.
HELL HOLE was written with the Halloween season in mind. I want people to read horror as much as they watch it, especially this month of #Horrortober! So, here’s what I aim to do. I’m going to give a free ebook to everyone who does one of the following:
- Go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Samhain’s website and post a review/rating for Hell Hole. Once you do, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to your review or rating.
- Purchase a copy of Hell Hole. Again, send a screen print or other proof of purchase to email@example.com
One book per customer. This incredible offer lasts until October 31, 2014.
This is all part of my plan to win the lottery and buy the most tricked out RV in history, convert it into a book mobile and travel the country handing out books and spreading the love of reading. So come on, show your love for HELL HOLE and Halloween. I’ll make it worth your while.
Almost 2 years since its release, SWAMP MONSTER MASSACRE is still rolling along. The world has much love for skunk apes. It’s now available as an audio book and was just given a 4 star review on Audio Book Reviewer. I want to give a big thank you to them for not only taking the time to listen to the book, but also to post such a great review. Now let’s see what we can do about getting the Skunk Ape family on the big screen where they belong!
I want a no holds barred, hold on to your seat, massacre. Bloody, nonsensical, all out war on humans by the Big Feet, Swap Apes, Sasquatchs, yetis, whatever you choose to call them. There is a whole lot of room for interpretation on what they will do, being that they may or may not exist.
B-horror movie fans rejoice, Hunter Shea has brought you the ultimate tale of bloody terror! It starts off very quickly with lots of action. We are introduced to Rooster, not a very good man at all. He kills a drug lord, in self defense of course, and is now on the run from his minions. Hijacking a tour boat full of as random a cast of colorful characters as if Shea picked them out of a hat. This is not a bad thing, but very reminiscent of my favorite B-horror flicks. Soon shipwrecked in the middle of the Everglades, they find out the hard way that they are not alone.
After accidentally killing a furry ape like creature, our band of hooligans are now in a race to survive the primal revenge of these beasts, finding that primitive monsters have tricks up their proverbial sleeves.
With an original and engaging writing style that I enjoyed a lot, Shea has created a unique and fast tour of the Everglades full of ridiculous violence, very descriptive gore, severed limbs and all. Straight up monster horror through and though. I look forward to more!
How many of you have ever gone squatching? It’s number one on my bucket list. I’m even willing to travel far just to have the experience. Where are the best places to squatch?
Anyone who has ever hung around my blog and chain knows I’m a cryptid fanatic. Just check out Swamp Monster Massacre if you don’t believe me. Or my upcoming book, The Montauk Monster. Or the one after that, Hell Hole. I recently had my fortune read by a traveling gypsy, and for the price of one silver coin, a lock of my hair and two drops of blood, she said I was once the leader of a clan of Bigfoots and that one day I would return to the wild. That explains everything.
I was an enormous fan of Lyle Blackburn’s debut book, The Beast of Boggy Creek. Here was a man I could tell loved Sasquatch as much as me. His book was one of the best researched and well written in the vast cryptid library (no offense to Loren Coleman, who is the king of the field).
When I heard Blackburn’s follow up book would be about the Lizard Man of Bishopville, South Carolina, I chomped at the bit to get my hands on it. I snatched up a copy when it came out in October, but with writing deadlines, I had to wait until now to read it – or to put it more accurately, plow through it.
I have a confession to make. With all my fascination with monsters and beasties, and having half my family live in South Carolina, I’d actually never heard of the Lizard Man. I intentionally avoided looking anything up before reading the book. I trusted Lyle to give me all I’d need, and I was right.
Back in 1988, when hair metal was in full swing and I was playing cards in the cafeteria more than going to classes in college, there was a series of encounters with a large creature that walked on two legs, attacked cars and people and generally scared the bejeesus out of an entire town. That town was Bishopville, SC, which, like the ol’ beast of Boggy Creek, was home to the Scape Ore Swamp, prime living quarters for the strange beast.
Descriptions of the cryptid varied, and in truth, after reading the book, it didn’t seem to be at all like an actual Lizard Man. I get the feeling that what folks were seeing was more in line with a Bigfoot, and I feel Blackburn leans in the same direction. No matter what it was, the town was gripped with Lizard Man fever for a long, hot summer.
Blackburn went down to Bishopville and interviewed the man who had been sheriff at the time, as well as some of the people who had come in contact with the unknown. The man does his homework. He even explored stories of reptiles and lizard men in other areas, pop culture and movies. In fact, he mentioned a few I haven’t seen and will seek out when I go to Horrorhound in Cincinnati next week.
I totally dug Lizard Man and it’s now sitting proudly on my special shelf of prized cryptid and ghost books. I don’t want to spill the beans on the whole book, so I highly suggest you pick up a copy. I did get the feeling that with the flap being so brief and reports not jiving with one another, Blackburn had to pad the book a little to give it some weight. No matter. The padding was just as good as the underpinnings of the story itself.
Let me finish with a personal request for Lyle. Come on up to New York and knock on my door. There’s a place in Orange County I can take you to that will give you enough fodder for three books. I’ll do the driving and buy the first round. Hell, I’ll even break out my cowboy hat.
Saturday morning, an hour or so before I start ticking things off my weekend chore list. Since my father passed away, I make it a point to work on my mother’s house every week cleaning things out, doing repairs, and now, raking never ending piles of leaves. Then it’s on to do the shopping, getting the oil changed in the old Jeep and working on my house. Somewhere in there I hope to get some work in on my new book, the sequel to Sinister Entity.
I’ve written about my wife and her health struggles over the past two years. Thankfully, we’ve just about conquered the hanta-like virus that she caught, but discovered she also has lupus. It flared up pretty bad this fall, so she’s back on radiation to beat it back. Looks like she’ll stay on it until the end of the year. Add to that my youngest daughter who’s had mono since September and I’m basically living in a hospital ward. Thank God my oldest daughter is like her dad and can run around with me getting everything done.
I’m very fortunate to have a passion like writing in my life to help keep me sane when things have gone haywire. And I’m very grateful for everyone who has come along with me on this crazy ass journey. 2014 will be a better year. I’ll have 3 novels out next year and plan to attend a number of cons to mix and mingle with my peeps.
One of the bright spots of 2013 has been the success of my twisted little Bigfoot novella, Swamp Monster Massacre. The ebook continues to gain new fans, and I recently learned that the audiobook is a bestseller on The Audio Bookshop. It’s a pretty big honor to be listed beside great writers like Ron Malfi and Tim Lebbon. I love the narration – a dry, good old southern boy, just like the main character, Rooster Murphy. 25% of all royalties from the book will go to the Lupus Foundation of America, so you’ll not only get a fun audiobook, but you’ll also support a great cause to fight a terrible disease.
Try it, you’ll like it. Trust me. I’m not just a horror writer, I’m also the president of the horror nerds society. ;)
In honor of the return of Finding Bigfoot to the airwaves, I figured I’d list 11 (that’s right, mine goes to eleven!) Bigfoot movies for all you squatch lovers. I honestly feel that little show on Animal Planet is responsible for the rash of recent and upcoming Bigfoot movies – and in my book, that’s a good thing.
Even better news for all you movie producers, the definitive Bigfoot movie has yet to be made. Find a writer, quality director and Adam Sandler cash and get to work.
So, here’s the list. Thanks to Amazon, I’ve dropped in a quick synopsis for each followed by a 1 line personal review, because I can’t say no to Bigfoot movies, as well as my Squatch Rating of 1 to 5 Squatch Toes. There are dozens of sasquatch movies out there, the bulk being made in the 70’s and within the last few years. This should be a good place to start your squatch-ucation.
THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK
A 1970s documentary-style drama questions the existence of a hairy 7ft tall Sasquatch-type monster that lives in a swap outside of Fouke, Arkansas. According to the locals the monster walks on two feet, has a characteristic smelly odor and kills chickens.
Hunter : It put the low in low budget but is still a classic despite the terrible music. 2 1/2 Squatch Toes.
CREATURE FROM BLACK LAKE
Some fishermen are attacked in the Louisiana swamps. When the word gets out of a mysterious Bigfoot-type creature, two researchers come to a small town to study and hopefully discover what the beast is. Their research from some farmers help the two men to learn that the creature may be a very angry and murderous missing link.
Hunter : Some actual, real life actors in here and though cheesy, has a couple of creepy moments. 3 Squatch Toes.
Scientists mount an expedition to find a Bigfoot-type creature. (Wow, could they spare the words???)
Hunter : Saw this as a kid in the theater and it scared the hell out of me, though I have a feeling I’d be less than impressed now. 2 Squatch Toes.
NOT YOUR TYPICAL BIGFOOT MOVIE
Dallas Gilbert and Wayne Burton, best friends from a dying former steel town in Ohio, are out to convince the world that Bigfoot exists.
Hunter : A wonderful documentary that’s more about two old and broke friends searching for Bigfoot than the hair fella. 4 Squatch Toes.
Based on found footage. A documentary filmmaker and his crew venture up to Siskiyou County to investigate the alleged Bigfoot sightings.
Hunter : Three ass-tards get what they deserve in this dreadful found footage flick. 1 Squatch Toe.
Jim (John Schneider) and his research team study the Canadian Lynx every year. This year, he has to take his rebelling 16 year-old daughter, Emmy (Danielle Chuchran), with him. But the lynx are missing. As Jim and his team–with the help of a local ranger (Jason London)–try to find out why, something stalks them–a predator no prey can escape.
Hunter : Perfect to fall asleep to on a Saturday afternoon after mowing the lawn. 2 Squatch Toes.
BIGFOOT : LOST COAST TAPES
After a Bigfoot Hunter claims to possess the body of a dead Sasquatch, a disgraced journalist stakes his comback and the lives of his documentary crew on proving the finding to be a hoax.
Hunter : Oddly strange yet effective found footage movie with the most bizarre ending any squatcher could conceive. 4 Squatch Toes.
SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED
What is the grisly, hides secret of the murdering white yeti? A group of college students finds out when they venture to a mysterious island. Low budget and REALLY awful in places, but at times chillingly effective. A Shostokovich type score much like that used in THE BRAIN EATERS.
Hunter : Considered by some to be an underground classic, but they’re all high. 2 Squatch Toes.
THE BIGFOOT HUNTER : STILL SEARCHING
In the summer of 2006, two Sasquatch hunters led a group of curious, young paranormal investigators into the hills of southern New York on a quest for evidence of the legendary beast known as Bigfoot.
Hunter : This documentary surprised the hell out of me and is a a must watch for squatchers. 3 1/2 Squatch Toes.
THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT
Wildlife chronicler Ivan Marx became one of the world’s most notorious Bigfoot researchers. This film documents his journey, with plenty of raw footage and unique insight. Marx’s quest takes the viewer throughout the wilds of Northern US and Canada, where we follow the trail of ravaged farm animals and stunned eyewitnesses that Bigfoot is leaving in his wake. Not to mention some of the most famous footage ever shot of the elusive creature!
Hunter : A horribly shot nature flick that will bore you to no end. 1 Squatch Toe.
Everything you know about Bigfoot is about to change. Follow the travels of the world renowned Bigfoot hunter, Tom Biscardi, and his Searching for Bigfoot team. You will follow the team as they search the country from Montana to New York in search of the world’s most elusive and mysterious beast. Tom Biscardi has been in search of Bigfoot for close to 34 years and you will see what he has discovered! Journey further and deeper into the world of Bigfoot then ever before in this award-winning documentary.
Hunter : Find out why Tom Biscardi has been totally discredited by the Bigfoot community. No Squatch Toes.
And there you have it, 11 Bigfoot movies that should keep you busy through November. And if you’re looking for some squatchy reading material, you can always pick up a copy of Swamp Monster Massacre, where skunk apes get real.
OK, this Halloween nearly did me in! And that’s a good thing. I once again achieved my goal of watching a horror movie every day (my favorite new flicks – new to me – being Rites of Spring and Revenge of the Creature). I read all of the books on my Horrortober reading list. Kudos to Kealan Patrick Burke for making my stomach turn with Kin. Awesome stuff.
On Halloween night, we had over 300 costumed kiddies come to the house. After canceling Halloween last year due to super storm Sandy, they had to make up for lost time. Yes, I and my twisted children dressed up to scare those kids who only wanted some candy. What was I? I have no clue. I was something no one else was likely to see that night. You be the judge.
In the dark, with my hooded black jacket, it was effective enough to make trick or treaters pause. Heh heh heh.
The 99 cent sale for my first short story collection, ASYLUM SCRAWLS, is over, but it didn’t go up much. You can download a copy now for just $1.99. I noticed that quite a few folks have already checked into the asylum. How about you? A little thorazine, three hots and a cot, get some rest.
Congratulations to Lindsey Loucks who won a signed copy of SINISTER ENTITY. Thank you for playing along with my madness.
We’ve made some updates to the Monster Men website, adding a podcast archive so you can catch all the episodes you’ve missed.
I have some exciting announcements to make over the next few weeks, so stay tuned.
Oh, and thank you all for making SWAMP MONSTER MASSACRE an audiobook bestseller. It’s an honor to be beside the likes of Tim Lebbon and Ron Malfi. I’m telling you, those skunk apes are gonna rule the world one day.
OK, unless you live down in Florida or Louisiana in the middle of the swamps and you walk around shouting into a bullhorn, odds are, resident skunk apes (that’s an extra pungent, swampy Bigfoot for the uninitiated) aren’t going to pay you any mind.
However, you can now hear them! I am the very proud poppa of a bouncing baby audiobook. Swamp Monster Massacre is now an audiobook, expertly narrated by Michael Ray Davis, a man who nails the tenor and tone of the main character, Rooster Murphy. You can listen to a sample and pick up a copy at the Audio Bookshop for only $3.99 (you don’t see them come that inexpensive) by clicking on the audiobook cover below.
If you’re wondering just what the hell you’re in store for – skunk apes and a dude named Rooster? – I invite you to check out the latest review that was just posted on Horror Novel Reviews. Swampy earned a cool 4.5 out of 5. Not too shabby for creatures so shaggy. Here’s a quick excerpt from the review:
Hunter Shea’s novella is a great read that can be devoured in one sitting. It’s phenomenally paced, has great characters, and even better villains. The Skunk Apes (Bigfoot’s swampy cousin) are vicious creatures, hellbent on destroying the swamp’s intruders (or are they?). The way Shea introduces them to an unsuspecting audience is utterly fantastic. I tore through the story with the same anticipation as the eight-year old version of myself used to rip through R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps. — Tim Meyer for HNR