10 Unfathomably Frightening Sea Creature Features
Back when I was a kid growing up in the Bronx, before my obsessions with UFOs and Bigfoot started, I was head over heels in love with the Loch Ness Monster and whales. The little library by my house had lots of whale books with glossy pictures. Luckily for me, it also had a few books on Nessie and other sea creatures. As a little one who knew of small beaches and lakes, the mysteries of the deep fascinated me.
It’s no wonder that when I became a writer, I was eager to pen my own sea monster tales for Severed Press like They Rise, Loch Ness Revenge, Fury of the Orcas and Megalodon in Paradise. You can even throw Just Add Water into the mix if you consider sea monkey-esque beings in a moist sewer a big old fish tale. I may be a land lubber, but part of my heart belongs to the sea and the creatures both real and imagined that lurk within it.
Because of my early love for Nessie, I’ve been a sucker for aquatic horrors all my life. I know there are plenty of others out there just like me. Which is why I wanted to share my list of sea creature features you should check out. I’m going to leave out movies like Jaws, Humanoids from the Deep and Creature from the Black Lagoon because, well, that’s just too easy. Here are 10 others that will satisfy that wet monster itch.
10. The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953): This classic sci-fi monster movie is a classic for a reason, featuring a giant dinosaur-like creature unleashed by an atomic bomb test that wreaks havoc on New York City. It features some amazing special effects by the legendary Ray Harryhausen and a thrilling plot. I fell in love and awe of this movie as a kid and that hasn’t change one iota over the years.
9. It Came From Beneath The Sea (1955): This classic film stars none other than the giant octopus created by, who else, Ray Harryhausen, the renowned special effects maestro. Its tentacles reach out to destroy San Francisco before it can be stopped. It cemented my inability to even comprehend eating octopus.
8. The Host (2006) – This South Korean horror movie follows a family that must battle a monster that lives in the polluted Han River. It’s an intense and non-stop thriller that will have you jumping out of your favorite armchair.
7. The Bay (2012) – This horror movie follows a small town that must battle a mysterious creature living in the Chesapeake Bay. Talk about a movie that doesn’t get the love and attention is deserves. You’ll never fish or swim in the Chesapeake Bay again. Pure parasitic perfection!
6. Orca (1977): This film follows a fisherman as he attempts to take revenge on a killer whale that killed his pregnant wife. The suspenseful story is full of action and a lot of exciting underwater scenes and stars Richard Harris and the beautiful Bo Derek. I was OBSESSED with this movie when it came out. I remember the back of every comic book at the time had a full page ad for the movie.
5. Piranha (1978): This movie follows a group of people as they battle a school of piranha that were released into a lake by an earthquake. Okay, maybe not a threat from the depths, but damn is this a fun one. You can’t beat a movie written by John Sayles and directed by Joe Dante!
4. Tentacles (1977): This movie follows a team of scientists as they investigate a series of mysterious disappearances in the Mediterranean Sea and discover a giant octopus is responsible. Maybe not the finest example of quality moviemaking, but a must see for you sea monster completists.
3. The Shallows (2016) – This movie follows a surfer (Blake Lively) who must battle a great white shark while stranded in the middle of the ocean. For most of the movie, it’s just Blake, a seagull, a killer shark and a bloated whale corpse. And somehow, it all works as the second best shark movie of all time.
2. The Deep (1977): This film follows two divers as they search for buried treasure off the coast of Bermuda and run into trouble with a giant shark. The underwater adventure is full of suspense and some of the best underwater scenes of the decade.
- DeepStar Six (1989) – This horror movie follows a team of deep-sea miners who must battle a giant sea monster. It’s a great mix of horror and suspense that has attained classic status for many.
What are some of your favorites? How many on this list have you seen? Most importantly, can you recommend something I may not have watched? Bring it on!
The Gill Man Trio
Universal Studios’ Creature from the Black Lagoon is a classic monster that has terrified and captivated audiences for decades. By far my favorite of the Universal Monsters (and the last of the line), ol’ Gill Man is a lover and a fighter with impeccable taste in women. The creature’s distinct look and terrifying presence has made it one of the most iconic monsters in film history. I strongly urge you to read The Lady from the Black Lagoon, the story of the Creature’s creator, Millicent Patrick. Talk about a woman being overshadowed by a male dominant industry.
There are plenty of CFTBL fans, but surprisingly, many aren’t aware that the classic film has two sequels. Hell, I didn’t know until well into my horror lovin’ adulthood. Over the course of a few years in the 1950s, there were three Creature from the Black Lagoon movies, and each one has its unique charm and appeal. Come grab my claw as we compare the three Creature from the Black Lagoon movies and explain why Universal monster fans need to watch them all.
Before we dive into the movies themselves, let’s take a brief look at the history of the creature. The Creature from the Black Lagoon is the aquatic love child of producer William Alland, who was inspired by the discovery of the coelacanth, a prehistoric fish that was believed to be extinct for millions of years. For folks interested in cryptozoology, the ugly fish’s reappearance is what gives Nessie and Squatch hunters hope.
The first film in the series is the titular Creature from the Black Lagoon, released in 1954 and directed by Jack Arnold (who also helmed flicks like Tarantula and The Incredible Shrinking Man). The film tells the story of a group of scientists who venture deep into the Amazon to study the unusual findings of a colleague who was previously attacked by a mysterious creature. As they continue their expedition, they realize that the creature is not only real, but it is also dangerous and determined to protect its territory.
The first film is a classic monster movie that set the tone for all future creature features. The creature itself is an impressive feat of practical effects and underwater photography. You’ll find nothing more beautiful and suspenseful that Julia Adams (the most alluring woman in horror movie history) taking a dip with a horn dog and curious prehistoric beast swimming just underneath her, mimicking her moves and daring to touch her toes. Just when you though it was safe to swim in the Amazon! Throw in a killer score, some light hearted comedy thanks to captain Lucas and, well, the mere presence of pipe smoking Whit Bissell and you have all the ingredients for monster gold.
I was fortunate enough to meet both Julia Adams and Ricou Browning (the man behind the mask and suit). Their signed pictures hold a special place on our wall. I also peppered CFTBL references all throughout by novella, They Rise. Give it a read and see if you can spot them all. Good luck!
The second film in the series is Revenge of the Creature, released in 1955. The movie picks up where the first film left off and tells the story of the creature being captured and transported to a research facility in Florida which also doubles as a public aquarium. The creature’s captors soon realize that it is more intelligent than they previously thought, and it quickly escapes, wreaking havoc on the city. And be on the lookout for a young Clint Eastwood playing a scientist in one of his very first roles.
Revenge of the Creature is a fun sequel that adds new dimensions to the creature’s character. The film is full of classic monster movie tropes, such as the monster on the loose in a populated area, but it also has some unique elements, such as the creature being trained to perform tricks at the research facility. The underwater sequences are once again impressive, and the creature’s suit has been improved since the first film. If you enjoyed the first movie, you will love Revenge of the Creature. Oh, if only this level of pandemonium would happen at Sea World. I’d pay good money to be there.
The third and final film in the series is The Creature Walks Among Us, released in 1956. This time around, a group of scientists successfully capture the creature and try to study its biology by performing surgery on it. The operation is a success, but it also causes the creature to become more humanoid, which leads to an identity crisis (not sure what pronoun to use here) and a desire for revenge. The transformation of the creature is downright bat shit nuts. Methinks they did so to get it on land and save some cash on all the underwater shoots. I also think Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy bears a striking resemblance.
The Creature Walks Among Us is an interesting conclusion to the series that takes the creature’s story in a new direction. The movie is more focused on the human characters than the creature, which may disappoint some fans, but it also allows for a deeper exploration of the creature’s motivations and emotions. The underwater sequences are once again impressive, but the film also includes some interesting scenes set on land. The lesson here – don’t fence the Gill Man in! If you try, you do so at your own peril.
So, why should Universal monster fans watch all three Creature from the Black Lagoon movies? Watching the movies allows fans to appreciate the creature’s design and development over time. Secondly, the movies are classic monster movies that set the standard for all monster movies that came after them, ala Humanoids from the Deep or, say, even something trashy like Slithis. The Creature from the Black Lagoon movies are not just important for their impact on the horror genre, but they are also entertaining and fun to watch. Each movie has its unique charm and appeal, from the suspenseful first film to the fun and campy second film, to the thought-provoking and emotional third film. Watching all three movies allows fans to experience the full range of what the series has to offer, as well as bearing witness to the end of one of the greatest monster making eras in movie history. There will never be another Universal cranking out terrifying creatures for decades. And we as a viewing audience will never be as innocent again and easily made aghast. Makes me kind of wistful and sad. But happy as hell I have these movies to watch over and over again.
Top 7 Horrors in the Movie Theater
Howdy Hellions! It’s been a long time since I put together a list like this, but after watching one of the below flicks, I thought it was time to cobble one together. Now that we all stream our entertainment most of the time, going to an actual theater is a welcome and special event. I practically grew up in theaters, and the damn pandemic stole one of my life’s greatest pleasures from me for a while. Luckily, my daughter just got a job at the Alamo Drafthouse near us, so I’ve been making it a point to hit the theater once a week.
One of the things I always loved to see on the big screen was horror movies set in a big screen. Watching it kind of felt like we the viewers and actors were all in the same theater, and the lurking terror was all around us. From the hilarious interactions between David and Jack and the recently dead in An American Werewolf in London, to the mysterious paranoia Jay’s date exhibits in It Follows, there’s something about watching the terror unfold in the same environment where you think you’re safe, watching it all, is a bit of a thrill.
So, here in my very subjective order, is what I think are the top 7 movie theater horrors. I wonder what makes your list…
7. THE BLOB
Who can forget the iconic scene of terrified teens fleeing the theater as the gelatinous creature from outerspace oozes from the exits? I prefer the remake in the 80s, but nothing beats the visuals set down way back in 1958.
6. THE LAST MATINEE
This nasty little gem from Uruguay will haunt your cinematic dreams, especially if you have a thing…like me…about eyeballs. Set almost entirely in a movie theater, once the action starts it never lets up.
5. POPCORN
With an unforgettable last act that makes it a standout for the early 90s (with a definite 80s feel), Popcorn also has a stellar cast – Jill Shoelen (The Stepfather), Dee Wallace, the late Tom Villard in a brilliant, manic performance, all written and directed by the great Alan Ormsby (Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things). Popcorn, buy a bag, go home in a box! I miss those great taglines.
4. THE TINGLER
Where is the next William Castle? Not only is a creature on the prowl in a theater on the screen, it may just be running past your feet in your own theater! My father hooked up the Tingler devices when he worked at his local theater as a kid. Vincent Price never mailed it in, no matter how cheesy the premise. The Tingler is a horror classic. Remember to scream, scream for your life!
3. PORNO
What happens when the tired workers at a little hometown theater find a hidden porno theater below it? Madness, gore and hilarity, of course. This main feature from the folks at Fangoria is an absolute blast. Gentlemen, prepare to experience some crotch sympathy pain. Seriously.
2. THE FINAL GIRLS
This has become one of my all time favorite movies, hands down. When a teen girl goes to a showing of her deceased mother’s 80s slasher movie, a fire in the theater leads to them escaping into the movie itself. Screamingly funny, tear-jerkingly poignant, with some fantastically framed scenes that will stick in your brain like they were made of Gorilla Glue. It’s a fun homage to 80s slashers with a killer cast.
- DEMONS
I’m not a big fan of Italian horror, so the fact that this is my #1 speaks to it’s sheer bonkers-ness. Patrons are trapped in a theater flooded with blood thirty demons. So much splattery fun. The sequel is pretty much the same movie, but set in building and parking garage. Bring out the super red blood and practical effects!
Horrortober Movies and Books – Countdown to Halloween
October – I mean, Horrortober – is my month long Mardi Gras, and I know I’m not alone. As usual, I’ve been saving special books and movies to keep me immersed in all things horror for the 31 days and nights of terror-fueled delight. And I was smart enough this year not to take on any writing projects so I have all the time I need.
First up, the Monster Men got our furry mitts on the newest edition of 31 Days of Terror. It’s a damn fun game where you roll the dice and then consult the book to see what movie you should watch. This is our fourth year playing it on Monster Men and it was pretty funny how we bent the rules to get a good movie for Halloween night. It’s a cool way to discover new movies or revisit ones you may have forgotten. Check it out right below. For my part, I want to see if I can top my Horrortober movie total of 55 this time around. We shall see…
Now, on to my reading list. Here are the books I’ve been smuggling away, saving them for my favorite month. Have you read them? What did you think? I have a sneaking suspicion I’m going to be very happy with them.
How far would you go to bring back someone you love?
When Chris’s son dies in a tragic car crash, her world is devastated. The walls of grief close in on Chris’s life until, one day, a small cut on her finger changes everything.
A drop of blood falls from Chris’s hand onto her son’s roadside memorial and, later that night, Chris thinks she sees his ghost outside her window. Only, is it really her son’s ghost, or is it something else—something evil?
Soon Chris is playing a dangerous game with forces beyond her control in a bid to see her son, Trey, alive once again.
Quinn Maybrook and her father have moved to tiny, boring Kettle Springs, to find a fresh start. But what they don’t know is that ever since the Baypen Corn Syrup Factory shut down, Kettle Springs has cracked in half.
On one side are the adults, who are desperate to make Kettle Springs great again, and on the other are the kids, who want to have fun, make prank videos, and get out of Kettle Springs as quick as they can.
Kettle Springs is caught in a battle between old and new, tradition and progress. It’s a fight that looks like it will destroy the town. Until Frendo, the Baypen mascot, a creepy clown in a pork-pie hat, goes homicidal and decides that the only way for Kettle Springs to grow back is to cull the rotten crop of kids who live there now.
A tale of revenge, cultural identity, and the cost of breaking from tradition in this latest novel from the Jordan Peele of horror literature, Stephen Graham Jones.
Seamlessly blending classic horror and a dramatic narrative with sharp social commentary, The Only Good Indians follows four American Indian men after a disturbing event from their youth puts them in a desperate struggle for their lives. Tracked by an entity bent on revenge, these childhood friends are helpless as the culture and traditions they left behind catch up to them in a violent, vengeful way.
Antarctica. A mining base at the edge of the world.
Anders Nordvelt, last-minute replacement as head of security, has no time to integrate himself into the crew before an act of sabotage threatens the project. He must untangle a complex web of relationships from his position as prime suspect.
Then a body is found in the ice. Systems fail as the long night falls. Now Anders must do more than find a murderer: he must find a way to survive.
Will anyone endure the night shift, or will ice and frozen corpses be all that remains?
Alex: A hardened goth-punk who’s convinced she’s a vampire with a penchant for blood.
Stacia: A seventeen-year-old raised by an alcoholic mother, her fellow captives the only family she’s ever truly had.
Kammie: The youngest of the three—a mute who finds solace in a houseplant.
But does life outside the house offer the freedom they’d envisioned? Or is it too late, the scars too deep?
A coming-of-age tale of revenge and survival that explores a friendship and the desperate measures taken to ensure they stay united, held together by the scars that bind them.
The end of summer, 1986. With only a few days left until the new school year, twins Jeremy and Jack Schaffer are on very different paths. Jeremy is the geek, playing Dungeons & Dragons with friends Kathleen and Randy, while Jack is the jock, getting into trouble with his buddies.
And then everything changes when neighbor Mister Higgins is killed by a wild animal in his yard. Was it a bear? There’s something big lurking in the woods behind their New Jersey home.
Will the police be able to solve the murder before more Middletown residents are ripped apart?
Top 13 Horror Comedies
Things are finally opening up and we’re all slowly going to crawl out of our houses over the next few weeks. After what the world has been through the past three months, I’m very concerned about the impact this will have on the horror genre. Will people want more scares after the coronavirus? I have a strong feeling that therapists won’t have a free hour in the day for years to come. This pandemic has given birth to a host of new fears for many, some still lurking under the surface and waiting to leap out the moment folks start to regain their equilibrium. I speak from experience, having grappled with a crippling anxiety disorder twenty years ago. If you’ve been sheltering in your house for months watching the news and worrying, it’s going to leave a scar.
So, what will the wave of the horror future be? I think what people need now more than ever is laughter. We’ve dwelled in the darkness for too long. We need the light. Luckily, if you’re a die hard horror fan like me in need of a chuckle, there are a lot of good movies out there to satisfy your craving while letting in the light. Here are 13 movies guaranteed to give you a break from your worries. What are some of your favorites?
EXTRA ORDINARY
EVIL DEAD 2
ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
SIGHTSEERS
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
SATANIC PANIC
FINAL GIRLS
A HAUNTED HOUSE
KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE
STUDENT BODIES
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Roger Corman and The Attack of the Pandemic Monsters
We’re all finding ways to cope with our shelter in place orders. And everyone has their own private concerns they have to grapple with while in isolation. It could be loss of a job, loss of a loved one, illness, anxiety, grappling with home schooling, feeling disconnected or, as most of us will agree, worrying about the future.
Some days are better than others. Two days ago was just a gray fog kind of day for me. I woke up that way and the fog never lifted. After a while, I didn’t fight it. I just reconciled myself to the fact that the blahs would win this battle. After beating down a panic disorder some twenty years ago, I keep feeling as if those old ways are going to break down my defenses and find their way back. That fear leads to the irrational fear that nearly broke me.
For me, I had to find a new line of defense. Something that could take my mind out of my mind (aka, my head out of my ass) and also give me comfort.
Enter Roger Corman.
Knowing his birthday was coming up was what made him top of mind for me. He just turned 94 and is still cooking. He’s even started a short film fest competition where people in quarantine shoot a 2 minute video in their home.
I immediately went to online streaming haunts like Amazon Prime, YouTube and Tubi to see what I could find. Damn, I found plenty. When I feel like my day is shit or even when I’ve had a great day, a Roger Corman film is both a perfect, nostalgic pick me up and a reward for a job well done.
Lately, I’ve been devouring Corman flicks like an elephant at a peanut factory. Or a bottle fly at a murder scene. These movies take me back to when I was a kid or an early twenty-something, eager to devour anything horror and scifi. If you’re of a certain again, they might do the same for you. So, what movies have been keeping me sane? Check out the trailers below and maybe you’ll find one that will give you an hour and a half of blessed relief and comfort.
THE TERROR WITHIN – George Kennedy, Andrew Stephens, the end of the world and gargoyles. Need I say more?
FORBIDDEN WORLD – A cheesy, sexy, gooey Alien riff that’s a blast to watch. And check out some of the walls in the spaceship. They were made of painted Big Mac boxes.
GALAXY OF TERROR – Erin Moran, Sid Haig, Robert Englund and Ray Walston head this total Alien ripoff that is seriously creepy and trippy. Some pretty cool monsters in this one. Be careful what you fear!
HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP – Polluted salmon turn into bipedal, horny fish men. Always a go-to movie for me. That dummy scene in the tent is a true WTF moment in film history.
IT CONQUERED THE WORLD – A line from this movie is very apropos today – “It’s the end of everything!” If that monster doesn’t put a smile on your face, I don’t know what will. And it has Peter Graves and Lee Van Cleef!
ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS – The Professor from Gilligan’s Island wishes he was back with the crew of the Minnow. This movie is way better than it has any right to be with some really disturbing concepts. Oh, and the crab monsters are a lot of fun.
X : THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES – Ray Milland kills it in this horror/scifi thriller. It also inspired my novella, Optical Delusion.
R.I.P. Stuart Gordon – King of the 80s Video Store
Man, as if all this craziness with coronavirus (and the possibly more dangerous reaction to it) wasn’t enough, did we really have to lose a horror legend? News that Stuart Gordon suddenly passed away was a total shock. I have to admit, it rocked me. Let’s be glad Dr. West wasn’t around to revive him. That would not have gone well. (And no, not too soon! Gordon had a wicked sense of humor, as anyone one who has watched his movies can see.)
When I think back to the glory days of the video store in the 80s and 90s, the films of Stuart Gordon loom large. Some of my favorite discoveries on VHS were products of his warped imagination. I read Lovecraft as a teen, but I never truly enjoyed his stories until Stuart Gordon made his, most times, loose interpretations. Who knew they could be so…sexy?
He wasn’t afraid to inject his tales of terror with dark humor (Dr. West battling a reanimated feline), sex (Barbara Crampton in full S&M gear), gore (the feasting creature locked in the dungeon) or even utter sweetness (a little girl befriending a man who is just a kid at heart). Above all, he brought Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton into our lives. For that, I would never be able to thank him enough.
I’ve been spending the week going back and enjoying Gordon’s filmography. Below are my top 5 in order. Step away from the anxiety for a spell and lose yourself in some trailers. If you haven’t seen any of them, shame on you! If you’re a fan like me, which ones are your favorites?
#5 – DAGON
#4 – CASTLE FREAK
#3 – DOLLS
#2 – RE-ANIMATOR
#1 – FROM BEYOND
Top 13 Horror Movies of 2019
Happy New Year, my hellions! I hope you all survived the holidays with your gray matter intact. With the start of the new year comes the obligatory list of horror movie badassery. The genre has been on a roll lately and I was hoping to close out the decade with a bang. Alas, that wasn’t so. I was genuinely worried that I wouldn’t find 13 good flix to put on my list. Thank Cthulu (and a case of the Christmas cruds) that I had some downtime to search desperately for any and all horror movies and my new Roku to help me watch them. So, let’s get on with it, shall we? And as always, I’ve provided trailers to get your motors humming.
#13 – SWEETHEART
This little number dropped on Netflix just in time to make the 2019 cut. It was The Creature From the Dessert Island and I dug the hell out of it. A girl washes up on a beautiful, remote island, only to find out there is a killer sea creature that comes ashore each night looking for fresh (or even dead) meat. Two gills up!
#12 – US
Yes, I know Jordan Peele is the second coming of John Carpenter, Alfred Hitchcock and Rod Serling all rolled into one. Us is a slick flick with some great performances and real laugh out loud moments. But once I tugged on the story’s thread, the whole thing just fell apart for me. It gets on the list for its quality. Just don’t spend any time trying to figure out the logic of it all.
#11 – PIERCING
What a hella weird movie. Just what the doctor ordered on a cold and dark December night. A man decides he absolutely must kill a hooker and gets a hotel room ready for the dirty deed. Only the lady of the evening is nothing he was expecting. The city is comprised of models and you never get a sense of time and place. It’s a freaking fever dream that would give David Lynch or David Cronenberg a right stiffie. Mia Wasikowska is outstanding.
#10 – SATANIC PANIC
Pretty pizza delivery girl goes to the very wrong house and gets mixed up in a night of sacrifice at a suburban cult. All I can say is that this is a blast. Zippy, bloody, funny as hell, because that’s where these soccer moms and dads want to party. Rebecca Romjin as the cult leader is just killer bee. One of my favorite horror comedies, for sure.
#9 – ZOMBIELAND 2
I had zero expectations for this one, especially since it’s been 10 years and an Oscar win since the first. But damn was I wrong. What makes these movies is the chemistry between our 4 survivors: Emma Stone, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg and Abigail Breslin. I’ll be the first to say the zombie genre should have its head cut off, but then this comes along and forces me to eat some crow (brains). Now I actually want a third helping!
#8 – HARPOON
Three old friends take a trip to the sea and end up murderlizing each other in my biggest surprise of the year. The budget here is small, but the writing and acting are large. It’s plain fun in the sun with a dash of backstabbing brutality and cannibalism??? You have to see it to believe it.
#7 – CRAWL
A full on b-grade monster movie that gets a wide theatrical release? Shit yeah! Director Alexandre Aja drops a father and daughter into the eye of the storm where they are trapped in their rapidly flooding house filled with and surrounded by hungry alligators. Way better than it should be, Crawl is a throwback flick that’s only missing Ray Miland or Doug McClure. A must see.
#6 – THE NIGHTINGALE
In all honesty, this is the best movie I saw all year. It’s technically not a horror movie, though some things happen here that step well beyond anything Jason Voorhees has ever done. A woman with nothing left to lose tracks down the British soldiers who waster her family in 1825 Tasmania. Not for the faint of heart, this will both depress the heck out of you and lift you up.
#5 – MIDSOMMER
The second cult movie on the list, Ari Aster has done it again with his follow up to Hereditary. This is one long, trippy movie with an ending that will leave you speechless. Aster’s artistry flows from the veins of Kubrick and can be thoroughly enjoyed with no sound at all. He’s definitely working out some issues about pain and loss through his movies. This was also the year of looong horror movies (I’m talking to you, It 2) and the director’s cut of Midsommer is over three hours long! Worth every minute.
#4 – TIGERS ARE NOT AFRAID
This Mexican import grabbed me by the feels and kicked the ever-loving shit out of them. A band of orphaned children in a town run by a drug cartel are hounded by cartel killers. I haven’t had a movie affect me emotionally like this in a long time. It’s part fairy tale, part way-too-real and wholly unique and amazing.
#3 – VILLAINS
I’ll bet dollars to donuts most of you haven’t even heard of this one. I was lucky enough to catch it in the theater during it’s 3 day run. Starring Maika Monroe (It Follows) and Bill Skarsgard (Pennywise), this is instantly my favorite home invasion movie. A bumbling couple break into the home of 50s-looking homicidal maniacs. This is one I will own and watch every single year until I drop dead from too much horror.
#2 – READY OR NOT
Hands down, the most fun I had at the movies all year. Samara Weaving is cementing herself as the IT GIRL, knocking it out of the park in this satire about rich asswads who sell their souls for fortune and fame. I laughed so hard my jaw hurt. The kills are great and the ending is sheer perfection. Not one missed note. When I walked out of the theater, I said nothing was going to knock this from my number one spot. And then came…
#1 – DOCTOR SLEEP
I have no idea how Mike Flanagan pulled this one off. He had to make a movie that was a sequel to the movie, The Shining, as well as the book, and the follow up book, Doctor Sleep. This is the kind of stuff that needs to be studied in film school. It gives you all the nostalgia you have for The Overlook and adds a new chapter to the tale of Danny Torrance that is simply mind blowing. The movie itself is gorgeous to look at and the performances by Ewan McGregor and Rebecca Ferguson are spot on. This is a sweeping epic that you rarely see in horror and it’s a shame the opinions of boneheaded critics kept people from going to see it. I’m absolutely gobsmacked (love that word) by what Flanagan accomplished here and will be adding it to the steady rotation. I could write a book on all the things that make this great, but I’ll spare you all.
Vacation Horror – Top 10 Hotel/Motel Horror Movies
Ah, the dog days of summer are here. Time to beat the heat, or bask in it, and head to beaches and pools and sunny climes.
But us horror hounds know, even an innocent getaway can turn deadly in a flash (or perhaps, a slash?). For those of you loading your family into planes trains and automobiles between now and Labor Day weekend, here are 10 scary flicks you can show the kiddies to make your vacation a little more interesting. Click the movie poster to each to view the trailer. Might wanna bar that flimsy hotel door with a chair and have a weapon on hand….
10. MOUNTAIN TOP MOTEL MASSACRE
I haven’t watched this since renting it on VHS back in the 80s, but how could I not include it on the list? If you have motel or hotel in the title, you win!
9. HOSTEL
Now, you wouldn’t catch me ever staying in hostel. Not because I’m worried about being kidnapped and killed. More like I don’t want to be trapped in a tiny room smelling stranger’s farts all night. Howver, if you’re traveling through Europe on the cheap, beware!
8. 1408
Not my favorite King movie adaptation (or the only one on this list), but 1408 is a wild ride. I also love that John Cusack is a writer who pens true haunting books. Could be a glimpse of my future.
7. VACANCY
I think of this one every time I pass by a seedy roadside motel. A real nail biter that stars the lovely Kate Beckinsale. Frank Whaley as the motel front desk asshole is so icky, I can never look at him the same.
6. PUPPET MASTER : THE LITTLEST REICH
The latest addition to this long running franchise is by far the best. When a bunch of people go to a convention, the puppets go absolutely wild. If you haven’t seen this yet, do so now and thank me later (with beer).
5. THE DEVIL’S REJECTS
Rob Zombie’s best (and I’m looking forward to the sequel), this is the nastiest motel you will ever see. Raw, foul and unwavering. This does make you think, WTF is wrong with RZ? His posse is in full effect here, from Ken Foree to Sid Haig and of course, Sherry Moon.
4. PSYCHO
I can’t make this list without the godfather of motel horror. This is the slasher that started it all. A brilliant film that makes up in mystery and tension what it lacks in blood and body count. And that music! Go get ’em, Norman!
3. THE INNKEEPERS
I adore this movie. An old Massachusetts inn is about to close for good, and the last two workers on shift are out to prove the ghosts in its walls are real. And what an ending. Just like Psycho, it’s also blessed with a magnificent score.
2. MOTEL HELL
We all know it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters. One of the best cannibal movies ever made (next to Texas Chainsaw Massacre), you’ll laugh as much as you’re cringe. Sausage anyone?
- THE SHINING
Many moons ago, Stephen King went on a little vacation, staying at an empty, sprawling hotel in Colorado. It spawned the greatest ghost story ever told. The Shining may not be an exact retelling of his book, but that doesn’t dull the shine of Kubrick’s masterpiece. Who wants to walk the maze with me? The top 3 movies all share one thing – amazing music that still sends shivers down my spine.
Hunter Shea 