Slashers Have Heart : An Interview With Kristopher Rufty

I’m so glad I can finally take a break from talking about myself and shine the spotlight on a tremendous new talent, Kristopher Rufty. I’m proud to say that we’re Samhain Horror brothers (his first book, Angel Board is not to be missed), and was blown away by his latest novel, Pillowface. This dude is the goods and he has a ton in store for us. So strap yourself in, turn on the Halloween soundtrack, tuck your favorite butcher knife by your side and read on…

HS. I have to say, Pillowface grabbed me by the short hairs from teh get-go and never let up. Why don’t youtell folks a little about the book and why they absolutely must read it!

KR. The book is about Joel Olsen, a twelve year old horror fan and aspiring special effects artist who spends way too much time alone.  He is now being raised by his sister Haley, who is only twenty-three years old.  They lost their parents in a car accident a few months prior to where the story begins.  Joel has an active imagination and is so enthralled with horror movie scenarios that he doesn’t even flinch when he discovers a wounded slasher straight from the movies he loves in his backyard.  Joel becomes obsessed with Pillowface, and looks at this situation as a big game, or a movie he’s seen adozen times.  It isn’t long before Joel realizes this isn’t as much fun as he’d expected it to be.  Soon into the book people around him start being brutally murdered, and with Buddy and Carp on the hunt for Pillowface, their missing ally, even more blood is shed.

Anyone with a love for horror on any avenue will probably find something to enjoy in this book.  As dark and twisted as it turned out to be, it’s actually a good time. I had a blast writing about the launch of summer vacation.  It was fun tapping into that part of my own childhood and remembering how it felt knowing that after Sunday ended on that first weekend of summer vacation, there were still a couple months left beforeI had to go back to school.  The sky was the limit!  Much like Joel does in the book; I’d formulate a summer to-do list and make sure I completed every task on it.  Whether it was watching a certain number of movies, or finishing the Stephen King, Bentley Little, or John Saul book I had purchased for a summer read, or adventures I planned to have in the woods around my house, I did it all, because if summer was nearing its end andI hadn’t completed them, I would feel depressed.  As if I’d wasted my summer break.

HS. Being a Richard Laymon fan, I felt his presence throughout the book. Are you a big fan as well and how has he inspired you?

KR. Laymon is my favorite author.  Not just my favorite horror author, but my favorite period. Whenever someone learns I write horror fiction they usually say something along the lines of:  “Oh like Stephen King?”  And I’ll nod and say:  “Sort of.  More like Richard Laymon.”  Then I get a confused look because they obviously don’t know who I’m talking about and that’s a shame.

Trent Haaga (the writer of the movies Deadgirl and American Maniacs) recommended I read The Cellar by Richard Laymon one day while we were in a book store together. I had confided in him that I was growing tired of reading books by the same handful of authors and wanted to branch out.  He took me to the L’s and searched the selection until finding Leisure’s reprint of The Cellar.  He went on to tell me how great of an author Laymon is and how once I read this book, I wouldn’tbe able to stop.  And he was right.  Laymon’s books became a hunger that I neededto feed.  It was also what made me join the Leisure Horror Book Club; the possibilities of several authors I’d yet to discover were at my fingertips!  Trent’s suggestion morphed me into a completely different horror fan, reader, andwriter.

Laymon’swork has been heavily influential on my own. I never wanted to mimic his style or anything like that, but I wanted to incorporate into my own writing Laymon’s sense of sentence and paragraph structure and detail.  And also I wanted to freely use the word rump just as he had.  I started off writing screenplays and making indie horror movies, and in the scripts whenever a female had to fall down, I could never think of a delicate way of putting it.  So, I took my Dad’s term, rump, and used that.  When I read it in Laymon’s novels I smiled with glee.

Years later I learned Don D’Auria (the same who’d edited Laymon and countless other legends) would be my editor as well, and it was a dream come true.

HS. I don’t know who’s more twisted, Joel, the young boy in need of a father figure, or the murderous Pillowface with a soft spot for the boy. Which would you rather go camping withfor a week?

KR. Pillowface, easily.  I don’t trust Joel in the slightest.

HS. You managed to do what so many have tried and failed at, which is create a classic slasher/monster and make him genuinely sympathetic. I mean, I was actually rooting for Pillowface towards the end. How difficult a task was that for you?

KR. It wasn’t as difficult as making David (the main character from Angel Board) sympathetic.  Pillowface is a complex guy and underneath the mask and behind the chainsaw he’s human.  In an earlier draft I wrote him a bit differently and to me he just didn’t come across as a real person.  That was my mistake, not writing him realistically.  When I set out to do a fresh write on Pillowface, I delved more into his point of view instead of learning about him through Joel’s eyes, and instead I thought it would be neat if we learned who Joel was through Pillowface’s eyes.   But not just Joel, some of the other characters as well.  Especially Joel’s sister, Haley.  Pillowface crushes on her like any man would, but whenever a normal person thinks flowers, candy, and a night on the town, Pillowface thinks of swooning her by dismemberment, destruction, and pain.

HS.Which is harder to do, direct a movie or write a novel? What are the best and most difficult parts of each?

KR. They’re each their own obstacle.  I’d have to say that, personally, writing a novel is easier and sometimes more gratifying than making a movie.  There are a lot elements going into directing, especially low budget movies, which interfere with your vision, so to speak.  I learned early on in moviemaking that it’s best to leave what you pictured in your head while writing the script at the door because chances are you will have to improvise on the spot for a variety of reasons, which also means working away from the script, or changing something last minute or like I had to in PsychoHolocaust, and cut a character completely out of the movie two days before we started filming because the actor cast to play them dropped out.

Budget can be your best friend and worst enemy. When there’s plenty to give she’s wonderful to have on your side, a great go-to source that can solve almost any problem.  But when there’s not enough to give, the budget can be an evil she-bitch that constantly takes and takes and when you wantjust a little more to spend on your movie you realize that she’s dried up after spending herself on name actors, plane tickets, and food.  When writing a screenplay, you always have to be cognizant of the budget and write within its means which can make for some great creativity but can also kill it quickly. My favorite parts of the movie process are the writing and editing, usually after a year or so goes by I realize that I actually enjoyed aspects of the shooting.  Ha-Ha.  However, I do enjoy working with talented actors and crews and watching what I wrote come to life whether it was how I had originally imagined it or not.

When writing a novel there is no budget restriction, and you’re pretty much free todo whatever you want.  When the characters want to have sex, they can, and there are no worries on my part whether or not they will take off their clothes, because I’m pretty confident that they will!  Also, if something blows up in the story, I don’t have to go back and cut it because there is no way I can afford an explosives expert, or I can have a legion of demons pour out of someone’s rump and not fret over how we can do the effect (I’m not big on horror CGI). I can just write it and it is. That is amazing to me.  Writing is amazing to me.  Making movies is amazingto me. I love them both.  They are a partof who I am.

HS. You’re obviously a horror movie buff (not to mention director). What are your 5 favorite horror films.

KR. Wow, that’s a tough question.  I’ll name fiveI like a lot, in no particular order.

TexasChainsaw Massacre (original)

Nightof the Living Dead (b&w and the remake from the early nineties)

Fridaythe 13th (original)

Halloween(original)

EvilDead

Okay, so that was five of the more popular horror classics.  Here are five that aren’t so popular.

Motel Hell (HS. One of my all time faves!)

Mother’sDay (original)

BasketCase (anything really by Frank Hennenlotter)

SilverBullet (Busey at his finest)

Nightof the Creeps

HS. OK, in 25 words or less, describe your current work in progress.

KR. I’m working on a few things simultaneously. Finishing up a novel and doing a polish on one that’s already completed, completed a novella, and started another novel. The Lurkers is my next book through Samhain Publishing and will be out in August, which is about tiny goblin-like creatures invading a small town and the group of people driving through who get caught in the middle. We’re also doing a promotion with the release.  My short story The Night Everything Changed will be available for free soon and leading up to the release of The Lurkers. It takes place in The Lurkers universeand is definitely worth checking out, and for a price tag of zero, you can’tbeat it.    After that, I’m not sure what order the next few will follow.

But a current work in progress is PlainfieldGothic and here’s a 25 words or less rundown:

Robbing graves in the early 1950’s, Ed Gein inadvertentlyunearths a genuine vampire and sets it loose on the unsuspecting town of Plainfield, Wisconsin.

And there you have it. See, I told you there was a lot more awesomeness to come! You can check Kristopher and his work out at www.lastkristontheleft.blogspot.com

Dreadful Tales Samhain Celebration Wrap-Up

The wonderful folks at Dreadful Tales were nice enough to dedicate an entire week to Samhain Horror, with interviews, reviews and articles with authors (such as myself) and editor Don D’Auria. If you’re a fan of horror, this is a treasure trove of insight and hopefully a reason to add to your “to read” pile. You can catch up on everything right here! Dreadful Tales Samhain Celebration Wrap-Up.

The Art Behind The Evil

I thought it would be fun to share the vision of a couple of artists I had worked with on Evil Eternal, back in the day when I had dreams of starting it as a graphic comic. I haven’t given up that dream. Please feel free to petition your favorite comic publisher to make Evil Eternal come alive in the panels of a comic!

This first one of the character Father Michael was drawn by my close friend, Mike Chella. Dude looks badass. Unfortunately it comes out grainy here, but I loved the dark style that Mike brought to the project. The panels Mike drew are what inspired me to keep working on the story and escalating the madness!

Next is a slick, computer graphic version of our favorite undead priest by author and artist, Ron Leming. The crucifix trident is pretty freakin’ cool.

And speaking of comics, Saturday, May 5th is National Comic Book Day. If you’re a fan, please visit your comic book store and pick up a few issues of your fave. I also wrote an article, more an ode to comic books, to celebrate the day. Click here to take a gander.

It’s Here! Evil Eternal vs. The World

It’s a great day here in the Shea neighborhood. My second book with Samhain Publishing, Evil Eternal, is now available and can be had a pretty damn good price (under $5!). I’m honored to be part of the Samhain family and have been impressed every step of the way since they took this orphan in last year.

Now, I’ve already given you an excerpt in a previous quote, breakdown of the book on my Books page along with some advance reviews. So, what the heck esle do I have to talk about (other than the various posts and article on  my blog tour—see previous post)? I figured I’d give you a little Shea family snapshot and show you how Evil Eternal grew from a tiny idea to a full-fledged, demon-killing novel.

Way back when Bill Clinton was asking the world to define the word ‘is’, I got a spanking new computer. The best way to test drive that Gateway was to write a short story, preferrably something with larger than life characters, demons and gore. Hey, it’s what I was in the mood for at the time. Well, I cranked out a short story about this undead priest called Father Michael who stumbles upon scenes of carnage wrought by a demon called Cain (he of Cain and Abel infamy).

I wrote it, I read it, I liked it. So did other folks I showed it to. I went on to write another story, placing Father Michael in the NY sewer system seeking demons in dark, filthy tunnels. About a year after I had written both stories, a Bram Stoker nominated horror website came to me to see if I had any ideas for a monthly e-serial. I thought, hey, I’ve got just the thing!

So for a few months, I wrote new chapters for the website, leaving each on a cliffhanger. It was great fun. Alas, the website shut down well before the story was finished.

There were plans to make it a graphic comic and a great friend started preliminary artwork. Comic publishers were contacted, but no one took the bait. Oh well. I may be a big comic book reader, but I was never too saavy about the business side of the medium.

I had an ending that was just itching to be written, so I went back and finished what I started and had a dandy novella. And that’s the way it sat for quite a while.

Enter Samhain, stage right. As I was digging through my drawer of misfit manuscripts, I showed my editor the novella. The next question was, “Can you flesh it out and make it a novel?” Hell yeah, I can! I dove back into the Evil Eternal world and added a new beginning, ending and beefed up everything in between. I had a ton of fun writing it. This is ‘let your freak flag fly’ territory.

And now it’s finally here. Be sure to check in at the ‘ol blog and chain and the various blog tour stops for giveaways and fun. Next time you’re in church, thank a priest. They may save you from death at the hands of a demon some day. 😉

The Blog Tour Cometh!

We’re just days away from the global release of Evil Eternal (poor, poor world). Not one to sit on my duff, I’ve been hard at work at some other exciting things, but I’ll save that for a later post.

Below is the official Evil Eternal Blog Tour. Be sure to check in at each stop because there will be all kinds of freebies and signed books.

Dreadful Tales (5/1)

Wodke Hawkinson (5/1)

Cate Gardner (5/2)

Jonathan Janz (5/3)

Joseph Pinto’s Horror (and things not so horrible) Blog (5/4)

Paul D. Dail’s Not So Horrific Blog (5/4)

Oh, For The Hook of a Book! (5/5 for National Comic Book Day!)

eBook Swag (5/7, 5/15, 5/16, 5/22, 6/11)

The Happy Horror Writer (5/7)

Last Krist on the Left (5/10)

Frazer Lee (5/14)

J.C. Martin, Fighter Writer (5/17)

Damien Walters Grintalis (5/21)

Macabre Republic

PromoteHorror (5/2 & ongoing)

Evil Eternal – A Sneak Peek

It’s hard to believe that my next novel with Samhain Publishing, Evil Eternal, will be available May 1st as an ebook, with print coming in early September. It feels like Forest of Shadows just came out a week ago and here I am gearing up for another round of horror-fueled madness.

Evil Eternal has all the subtlety of a Cat-5 hurricane. I had originally designed it to be a graphic novel but over time it morphed into a full length novel. It’s been described as ‘rip-roaring grand guignol’ and an over-the-top battle royale of good vs. evil.

So, to get you all revved up and ready, put on a little mood music (I suggest anything by Wagner or White Zombie), sit back, and enjoy the follow excerpt…

EVIL ETERNAL – Ante

Hot sand blew into the stranger’s face as he crested the dusty hill. He refused to blink, refused to admit even the slightest defeat to the power of nature and the one who birthed it. He spat on the lone tuft of grass that clung to the hilltop, laughed as it turned a bilious brown, wilting back into the dry earth.

He was surprised to find a small orchard of fig trees lay nestled in the valley below, a lush land fed by the runoff from the surrounding hummocks. At the outer edge of the orchard sat a clay home, baked hard in the sun, big enough to house three, maybe four people. The leaves of the fig trees chittered in the breeze, mocking him. He’d see to that.

Using his gnarled, wooden staff, he descended the hill in a matter of minutes, his bare feet finding a solid grip with each step. The sun was strong and burned the back of his neck. He pulled his woolen hood over his head, pausing a moment to take in the orchard from eye level.

Available for pre-order now!

Five rows of a dozen trees each were spaced out evenly across the valley. Thousands of ripe green figs hung from the branches. They looked, to him at least, like swollen scrotums. He reached up to pluck one, grimaced as it discolored in the palm of his hand, turning a mushy black and melting between his fingers.

The tree followed suit, the figs dying and falling in a rain dance of heavy plops, bursting as they hit the ground. Leaves shriveled up, became brittle, while the branches sagged as if saddled with the weight of the moon.

Crack!

The trunk split in half, the bisected tree collapsing in opposite directions.

The verdant soil around the tree transformed to a cancerous black, spider veins stretching to its neighbors, the scene of rapid decay and death replayed again and again until the orchard was a killing field, the soul of the land corrupted beyond measure.

This made the stranger smile.

Two men erupted from the house, hands on their heads, wailing in shock, anger, fear. Their life’s work had been destroyed in a matter of minutes, struck down by an unseen plague. A woman holding a child to her breast emerged. She looked across the demolished field and cried. The baby fidgeted in her arms as if it too could sense that something had gone terribly wrong.

One of the men met the stranger’s gaze, pointed.

“You did this?” he cried. It was more a question than an accusation, for the moment. The strange man in his former orchard was the one thing that did not belong. If he was not the cause, and how could one man do this, then perhaps he was witness to the death of his beloved fig trees.

To the man’s amazement, the stranger bowed and said, “Yes, I did.”

Fire flashed in both men’s eyes and they disappeared into the house. The woman turned away from him, shielding the baby from his view. The men emerged brandishing long swords. They held them high above their heads, charging.

He waited for them to come to him, to wear themselves out running across the barren field. They swore curses as they rushed headlong, prepared to maim this stranger who had taken their life from them through some power they did not and could not understand. But they did understand retribution, the swifter the better.

The stranger waited until they were several steps away before raising his walking stick above his head. It caught both swords as they swooped down to cleave him from shoulder to hip. With a flick of his wrist, both swords were torn from their hands, buried in the unyielding wood of his staff. He tossed it aside, grabbing for their throats.

He closed his eyes, in the throes of an orgasmic rapture as he felt their windpipes crush between his fingers. They swatted at his thick forearms to no avail. He squeezed tighter, cutting off their supply of oxygen, demolishing the inner workings of their respiratory system. They wouldn’t be needing them much longer.

Their throats collapsed one after the other with an audible rending of cartilage and muscle. He released them, looking on in amusement as they dropped to the ground, their eyes distended, tongues swollen and lolling from open mouths.

The woman sobbed, falling to her knees. He came to her in slow, steady strides, confident that she would not run from him. She looked up as his shadow loomed over her.

“What kind of monster are you?” she asked, defiance in her eyes. Her baby had grown silent, tucked within her robes.

He leaned on his staff, regarding her with cold curiosity.

“I’m the best kind of monster.”

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You can pre-order Evil Eternal or add to your Wish List by clicking any of the following links:

Samhain Publishing

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

 

 

Rethinking Book Signings : One Writerly Dude’s Approach

I’ve always wanted to build a better book signing, and with the launch of my book tour this past weekend I think I may have done it (cue Dr. Frankenstein’s laughter of the demented). There are valid reasons why I wanted to change things up this time around.

When I published a very small book years ago, I went on a mini-tour that included about 7 signings, most at mom and pop bookstores, and a few large chain stores. I had mixed results. The majority involved me sitting behind a table, hoping someone would look my way and take a peek at the book. I’ve noticed that a lot of people are wary of approaching authors. Trust me, we’re happy to talk to you, and almost all of us don’t bite! I was usually able to sell a handful of books at the mom and pops.

I had two nightmare signings, both at major outlets. One was on the 4th of July. Naturally, no one was in the store! To make things worse, they put me under a sky light so the 95 degree sun could melt me to the chair. The only thing I succeeded in doing was convincing the lone customer not to buy Hilary Clinton’s book that was on display behind me.

The next one was even worse. I’m not a public speaker. Well, when I got there, they had set up a podium and about forty chairs and expected me to read from my book. Lucky for stammering me, the only people in those chairs were my wife, her friend and a support group for people with hepatitis-C, who were busy holding their own meeting and  not paying attention to me. I sold 1 whole book that night, which was an improvement over the zero sold on Independence Day.

I’ve attended my fair share of author signings and have come to the conclusion that I hate author readings. Unless they are classically trained in the art of acting and public speaking, their voice interferes with the voice I then bring to the book when I read it. Very few enhance the experience.

So as I geared up to promote Forest of Shadows, I feverishly tried to come up with a unique way of making a book signing a bigger, better experience for those who come to see me. Heck, they’re going out of their way to attend, I better give them a show to justify their precious time.

To erase my bad experiences of the past, I made sure I got a signing at a Barnes & Noble. Big time, big pressure. 🙂

What I did next  was examine my genre, the topic of my book, and other things I have done to promote it all along and combined them into what I felt was a fun, informative evening. Here’s the game plan:

  • My book is a fictional story about a ghost hunter. So, I decided to focus on ghosts in general, not just the ones in my book.
  • I do a video podcast called The Monster Men where my buddy and I talk about all things horror and scary. We went back to look at episodes where we talked about ghosts and created a 10 minute video. It centered on my ghost trips to The Queen Mary, The Manhattan Bistro and my own experience in a haunted hotel room in Spain.
  • I created a slide show that showed all kinds of ghost pictures, as well as intermittent slides showing my website and logo. I added some sinister music to it as well. As people filtered in, I had the slideshow and music going to get and hold their attention.
  • I started by asking what people believed in (Bigfoot, UFOs, Ghosts) and handed out candy prizes for those brave enough to raise their hands. This got them involved and gave them sugar rushes! I also kept a bowl of cookies on the table.
  • I talked a little about the book and wove humor with the horror throughout. I showed the video, stopping every now and then to add a funny anecdote or two.I also made sure I was on my feet and walking around, making eye contact with everyone. As an added benefit, it helped me burn off nervous energy.
  • After the video, I talked a little more about the book, just for a couple of minutes, and asked people to share their own paranormal stories.
  • Then it was time to sign! I also created a posterboard of the cover of  my book at Staples for $10 and asked them to sign it for me as I signed their book. Now I have a great keepsake and they had a blast signing it. How many authors ask their readers for their autograph?
  • Lastly, I created postcards that promote my next book, website and Monster Men podcast and put them in each book.

 

The key to everything was to have fun and make it a great night. I keep thinking I’ll bring a smoke machine to the next one, but my kids roll their eyes on that suggestion.

Best of all, I started with a table loaded with books and came a hair from a total sellout. There were only a couple left by the end of the night, which I signed so they can display them prominently in the store.

Now, I’m not saying this is the definitive way to do your own signing. You have to do what you’re comfortable with. Be creative. Make ‘em laugh. Be interactive. If you can do all three, you’re in for a hell of a night.

The Book Tour Has Begun!

I’ve been gearing up over the past week for the launch of my book tour. It was tough waiting for winter to vacate the premises so I could get started. Big thanks to Monster Man Jack Campisi who worked his tail off creating a special Monster Men episode just for the tour. It’s a ‘best of ghost stories’ that will spark some interesting conversations with those who come down for the fun. I’ll also talk about some of my own experiences with the unknown and how they inspired Forest of Shadows.  

So, if you’re in the Yonkers, NY area on Saturday, March 24th, come on over to the Barnes and Noble at 2614 Central Park Avenue at 7pm.

I’ll be adding more dates in more states very soon, so stay tuned. If you have a bookstore in mind, let me know and I’ll see what I can do about getting there!

Good news is always elusive, but I have 2 things to be happy about today. My story, ‘Commandment Eleven’ is in issue #7 of Dark Moon Digest. You can get a copy for under $8 at Amazon. There are a lot of great writers in this issue. You won’t be  disappointed.

Here’s a little snippet to get your horror engine running:

Commandment Eleven

A sparrow sang just outside the basement window and it almost made Norm’s heart break. He could still smell the sharp, sulphuric odor of burnt matches riding hard over the musty pall of the cramped underground room.  

He strained to catch the tune of a song as it warbled from the transistor radio he’d left on upstairs. Was it Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett? What he wouldn’t give to be up there with that radio. Man, that voice sounded like heaven.

Since the incident, he loved just about any sound: kids fighting, garbage trucks rumbling, the buzzing of a curious bee. The thought of losing all of those delicious, everyday melodies sickened him with dread. Acidic rivulets of bile hit the back of his teeth and seeped from the corners of his mouth. Instinctively, he went to wipe it away but his hands were held fast by duct tape.

There was a shuffling of slipper-clad feet on the unfinished cellar floor and a stack of old wood boxes went clattering to the ground.

“Son of a biscuit eater!” his wife Chastity yelled.

God, even her infantile cusses (because good Christians don’t cuss) were glorious to hear. 

“Didn’t I tell you to move these somewhere else? You do have working legs and arms, don’t you? Just because I’ve made you right with Jesus doesn’t mean you’re right with me.”


 Ready for more? Click the cover to get your copy today!

 

Dinner with Ghost Hunters

It’s been a while since I posted an original story here on the old blog and chain. This one is for my sister and brother-in-law, right down to the Cowboys jersey. This is a little flash fiction piece I call “Dinner With Ghost Hunters”. Hope you enjoy it. Please comment away!

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It had long been a rule of Tom’s not to go to dinner parties hosted by people he either didn’t know or didn’t like. He gripped the steering wheel a little too hard on the ride to the Gundersons, angry at Carolyn for ignoring one of his cardinal rules.

As they pulled into the driveway, he said, “Okay, call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”

Carolyn playfully slapped his arm, ignoring his discomfort. “At least you’ll get a free meal out of it.”

“Yeah, at what cost?”

Tom was so busy fuming about the night ahead that he didn’t notice the parked van until he walked smack into the rear double doors.

“What the?”

Carolyn was already at the front door, pinwheeling one hand to urge him forward. He joined her side, a tad woozy and holding his nose. Carolyn paid him no mind.

Missy Gunderson answered the door wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey and denim shorts. Hank Gunderson came up behind her smiling in his blue Giants jersey.

“Hey guys, come on in!,” Missy said. “We were hoping you could stay after dinner and watch the game. Hank just got one of those huge plasma TVs and is dying to show it off to someone.”

Casual dress? Plasma TV? Football?

Maybe I’ve been wrong about all of this, Tom thought.

After a round of introductions, Hank led them to the dining room for cocktails. As they walked past the living room, Tom noticed three men and one woman sitting in front of a folding table loaded with small monitors and computers. The quartet never looked their way.

“Don’t mind them,” Hank said to Tom. “They’ve been here for a week and we barely even notice them anymore.”

“Who are they?” Tom asked. Carolyn shot him a cautionary look. Don’t pry her eyes pleaded.

Missy laughed and said, “You’re not gonna believe this, but they’re from that TV show, Ghost Trackers. Hank thinks this house is haunted, so one night after watching the show he sent them an email and, well, here they are. I was dead set against it but they paid us some money, so Tom gets his TV and I get my new laptop.”

“And most importantly, I get some answers,” Hank added.

“Sounds exciting,” Carolyn said.

Missy leaned towards Tom and Carolyn and said, “Trust me, it’s pretty boring stuff. They do a lot of walking around and looking at monitors. I don’t know how they stay awake.”

Hank walked in carrying a tray of margaritas and they settled into the dining room. And true to Hank’s word, they soon forgot about the Ghost Trackers team in the next room. Tom quietly admitted to himself that he actually liked the Gundersons.

Two pleasant hours and one delicious steak dinner later, Tom was startled by the sound of high pitched beeping coming from the living room. That was followed by the shuffling of feet and excited conversation.

“What’s going on?” Tom said.

Hank peered into the living room, his arm frozen in place, drink halfway to his lips. “I have no idea.”

One of the team members rushed into the dining room and turned off the lights. “Get a camera in here!” he shouted.

The rest of the team followed, one holding a little handheld device that whined nervously, another with something that looked like a radar gun and two with large cameras propped on their shoulders.

“It’s right over there,” the woman shouted, pointing towards the area behind Tom.

“Flash!” someone shouted and a camera flash went off, momentarily blinding everyone.

“What’s over here?” Tom asked. He was promptly shushed by the woman.

“Do you see that mist, just over his head?” one of the cameramen whispered.

Tom jerked his head around but only saw darkness.

“Temperature’s dropping. Down five degrees, seven, ten degrees.”

“EMF is spiking at five. It’s right here, I can feel it.”

“Whoa, did you see that blue light? It just went behind him!”

Tom grabbed Carolyn’s hand and knocked over his chair as he jumped to his feet.

“We’re outta here,” Tom shouted. Again, he was shushed.

“It’s following him. Quick, keep a camera on him.”

Tom and Carolyn made their way through the darkened house while the Gundresona sat in mute shock. He slammed the front door on the cameraman that was hot on his heels, leaving the madness behind them.

“And that’s why I have rules,” he said to Carolyn, and promptly smashed face-first, again, into the front of the Ghost Trackers van.

All Hail Comic Book Men!

As a dude who collected comics as a kid and has a Captain America tattoo, I was happier than a Mississippi leg hound on hump day when AMC announced its new show, Kevin Smith’s Comic Book Men. It’s a brilliant idea to keep all us comic geeks tuned in after we get our Walking Dead fix.

Naturally, the Monster Men had to give our take on the show. I promise you, this is the funniest, best episode yet. And if you don’t like it, well, you’re probably way cooler than us.

I’d also like to take some time out to thank some wonderful folks who have been supportive of me and my book over the past few months : Diana Navarro, Annaliesje & Pink Kitty Paranormal, Anthony Ventarola, Tobi Delacruz, Tom Wolstencroft, Aniko Caremean and the mainstays of the Westchester Writers Round Table, Shai, Rod, Casey, Robert, Jackie , Ellen and everyone who has ever gone to at least one gathering. I couldn’t do this without all of you and so many more!

And now, on with the show!