Getting The Book Deal And How It Nearly Killed Me
The title of this post is no exaggeration. The entire process of writing my novel, Forest of Shadows, and getting it sold very nearly ended my life…sort of. More on that in a bit.
I’ve been a fan of horror ever since I was a kid. The passion for writing horror overtook me somewhere in my early twenties. I dabbled with horror short stories, then spent years writing non-horror novels so I could get in the practice and find my voice for my first big horror novel. Once I felt I was ready (which meant I had spent almost a decade writing and thirty years reading as much as humanly possible) and I had a concept that could sustain a novel, I got to writing. All along I had one goal : to have it published by Leisure Horror (part of Dorchester Publishing). Leisure was the gold standard for horror publishing, thanks in large part to the leadership and skill of editor Don D’Auria. I consumed Leisure novels like Jaws munched on skinny dippers. I wanted in the Leisure Club more than anything in the world.
I spent the next 4 years writing my book, originally titled Frozen Harbor. After going through a dozen rewrites, I felt it was good to go and I immediately sent my query letter to Leisure’s slush pile (this is the massive mountian of unagented queries and manuscripts that sit in every publishing house). I knew the odds of getting out of the pile were slimmer than Kate Moss, but I had a goal and I was going to live or die with it.
A little under a year later, I received a letter asking to see the first few chapters. I nearly jumped out of my shoes, but knew in the back of my mind this was by no means an acceptance. So I sent it. And waited. And waited some more.
Over a year after that, I recevied another letter asking for the entire manuscript. OK, there was obviously some interest. It had been almost two years now, and every time I was about to give up, the fates came along to reignite my hopes. Could they be so cruel as to guide me to shore, only to dash me on the rocks? Being a New York pessimist, I leaned to that being the case.
I kid you not when I say I had all but forgotten that I had sent in my manuscript when a year and a half later, while checking my email, I saw a letter from Don at Leisure. Holy crap! He liked the book! He wanted to publish it! I had my deal with my dream publisher and editor! I was at work when I opened the email, and after almost having a stroke, I rushed home to celebrate.
The next few months were spent getting an agent and working with Don on the book and getting the final details done on the contract. I was flying higher than Balloon Boy. Naturally, the fates saw my happiness and stepped right in to kick my ass in short order. Dorchester Publishing, after 40 years in business, was in complete upheaval. They weren’t paying authors and had decided to stop printing paperbacks. Don parted ways with them just before I signed my final contract. The deal was dead.
And so, nearly, was I. Granted, the turn of events made me physically, emotionally and spiritually ill. But it was the horror writer doppelganger in me that nearly died last summer. I was done. No matter how happy a face I put on, I figured that part of my life had taken a permanent dirt nap. I didn’t have another 8 years in me to do this all over again. R.I.P.
Here’s where agents can be a godsend. My agent, Louise Fury (with the L. Perkins Agency), did her best to keep my spirits up. “Don’t panic. If it was good enough for Don, it can be sold elsewhere. We can even wait to see where Don lands and hope he’ll still be editing horror.”
So I waited. But this time it was much less than 8 years. It was only 5 months. Don joined Samhain Publishing and yes, he still wanted my book! The dead part of me had been revived (kinda like a zombie, only without the eating flesh part). So yes, the entire process did nearly kill a very real part of me. But like any good movie monster, I live! And as long as I live, I will continue to write.
To read the book that nearly killed me, click here.
My Night on the Queen Mary
As a man who writes about the paranormal (with a strong leaning towards ghosts) and has had a profound experience with the paranormal (an old hotel, alone, Barcelona, future blog), I couldn’t resist the chance to spend one night aboard the famed Queen Mary during a recent trip to Long Beach, CA. I won’t go into the history of this magnificent ship here, but there are plenty of places to bone up on it. And there is an equal, if not greater, number of places on the web to view the various hauntings aboard the retired vessel. Just You Tube away and you can spend a perfect, quiet evening creeping yourself out. Here’s one of the most compelling ones out there, showing diaphanous white figures moving about a corridor.
Despite its title as one of the most haunted places in the US, I went aboard, alone, with little expectations. I wanted to tour the ship during the daytime on my own, have a nice dinner in one of their fine restaurants, and take a paranormal walking tour that night. It was the perfect ending to a long week in California. My first impression when I pulled my car into the lot was that this ship is huge! We’re talking making-whales-look-like-teeny-ants huge. Because of its age, for some reason, I wasn’t expecting something quite as grand or as wonderfully preserved.
The weather all week had been overcast and drizzly, so I was happy to finally see blue, and dry, skies. I checked into my room, quickly dropped my bags onto the bed and headed back out into the sun so I could walk the various decks.
Before I go further, I need to say that my room was at the end of a very long corridor, and for my stay, I believe I was the only person checked in for that section of the deck. OK, that was a bit unsettling, even more so when I realized it was one of the very same corridors that people have experienced sounds of footsteps, voices and even fully body apparitions.
OK, back to my day and night. I made a quick stop to the coctail bar for a drink and something to eat, then spent the next three hours walking in and out of every corner of the ship open to the public. If I was ever going to describe a location as stately, this is the place. You can feel the weight of history in every nook and cranny of the Queen Mary. The energy of the millions of lives that have come and gone aboard her wooden decks lingers like heavy smoke. That’s not to say that I had any odd ‘psychic’ feelings. I actually felt very much at home and enjoyed learning about the ship’s past. At one point, I purchased my ticket for the paranormal walking tour of the ship that went from 8-10pm. I wanted to make sure I was wide awake for the tour, so I took a nap, had a nice dinner looking out at the bay, and waited midship for the tour to begin.
Now the fun begins! We had a crowd of about 20 people ranging in age from about 14 to 70, and an almost even mix of males to females (for all you satistic hounds out there). Our tour was given by two men. One, who led the tour and did most of the talking, and the other whose job was to walk behind the crowd so no one got lost. He was also there to escort people off the tour if they got so frightened, they couldn’t take another step. The man was built like Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still and looked kinda like those doctors from the Twilight Zone episode where the woman wants to be beautiful, which we find out is looking like some sort of phantom human/pig hybrid. I thought, OK, they’ve already gotten people spooked and we haven’t even taken our first step. Bravo!
We walked down into the bowels of the ship. We’re talking 30 feet below the water. It’s cold, dark as hell and otherworldly. Our first stop is one of the mechanical rooms where a sailor was supposedly crushed to death by a steel door. The tour guide pulls out metal divining rods and says this is how the spirits like to communicate. After a bit of coaxing, he gets the rods to move when he asks certain questions. He even asked it if it could point to anyone it might want to visit in their room that night. Wouldn’t you know it pointed right at me? And I was hanging in the back talking to Twilight Zone guy, well out of the line of sight. We walked into another part of the room and stayed silent for a while. Odd sounds and banging started chirping up from different corners of the room.
The guides seemed surprised by the level of activity here and commented that they hadn’t heard it this lively in months. As most of the crowd was paying attention to a little maglight they had brought (to see if a ghost would turn it on), I kept my attention to the top level of the room, which was where I thought most of the noises were emanating from. I saw a flash of shapeless, almost see-through brown zip across the ceiling. Assuming it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I kept it to myself. That was until Twilight Zone leaned into me and said, “Did you just see something race across there?” Before I could answer, the woman in front of me said, “It was kinda brown, right?” I agreed. That was my first chill of the night.
Next stop was the place everyone was itching to see. The famous pool. People have seen and heard the spirit of a little girl and an older woman here. (On a side note, an episode of the original Charlie’s Angels was filmed here, before the pool was shut down for good). The atmosphere in the pool area was heavy and I kept waiting to hear a little girl’s voice call out from the beyond. That was not to happen.
After the pool, we went to the changing area, which is said to contain a vortex to the other side. I stood on the vortex and only felt slightly claustrophobic because the area itself is cramped with a very low ceiling. Nothing fun to report there.We ended the tour by going to a purpotedly haunted room where no one is allowed to stay. I only felt a bit of sadness in the room. Maybe it was because it looked so desperately alone, like an outcast. After the tour, everyone was encouraged to explore further. The ship itself is open 24 hours a day, so anyone can come on board and poke around. I decided to hit the hay and hope the ghost from the defunct mechanical room would find someone else to haunt. As I said earlier, I’ve already had a ghostly encounter in a hotel room, and I don’t wish to repeat it. I did wake up very early the next day and walked the ship again, this time without anyone else about. I figured if I was going to see a ghost, this was the perfect time. Sadly, it was not to be, but not from lack of trying. I spent almost 2 hours skulking about and sitting in dark rooms. I came up with nada. As I checked out and got into my rental car, I thought, Did I really witness a ghost in the mechanical room? I’m still not sure. Maybe I did. That’s enough for now. How many of you have been on the Queen Mary? Did you take one of the ghost tours? Come on and share your experience so we can all sleep with the light on. For more on the paranormal, here’s a link to Forest of Shadows.











