Tag Archive | comedy

New Book News: COMBUSTIBLE is Brining the Heat!

Ahoy to the hellions far and wide! It’s a new year, and I have a new book for you! This time around, get set for a road trip across the United States into the wilds of Canada while the world is burning down…from the inside out.

COMBUSTIBLE is like the ‘soup’ we used to let our kids make when they were little – it has a dash of just about everything. An apocalypse brought on by…hold on…spontaneous human combustion. Suspense. Terror. Body horror. Dark humor (because the end of humanity doesn’t have to always be so serious). And at the center of it all, a marriage in a tailspin as the world spins out of control.

I wrote the majority of Combustible in 2021 at the tail end of the pandemic. One thing that kept me going through all of that insanity was laughter, either with co-workers or friends that I couldn’t see in person, but through Zoom watch parties of Joe Bob’s Last Drive In Show or bad horror movies. The unrest and unease in the US specifically pre-dated the ‘Rona-demic. Through all of the fear and shouting, dissent and brand new victim culture, we lost the ability to take a step back and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

So, if you like a good end of the world story with healthy dashes of dark and light humor, ala just about any Jeff Strand book, Combustible was written for you.

About the book:

The End No One Saw Coming
An outbreak of spontaneous human combustion (SHC) has mankind teetering on the edge of extinction. People are going up in flames from every corner of the globe. Panic has led to lockdowns and the complete breakdown of society, but there is no escaping the inevitable.

Love in the Time of the Apocalypse
Sam and Aja watched their marriage implode just as everyone around them was going up in smoke. Forced to sequester in their small apartment, tempers flare hotter than a crematorium. The SHC pandemic and forced proximity has only made things worse. Waiting for the end seems a better alternative than waking up to another day.

Hope in the Great White North
Rumor has it that there’s a Canadian town called Consumption that is free from cases of SHC. Sam steals an RV, refusing to leave his estranged wife behind. Along with his best friend, they embark on a road trip through a vast and weird wasteland, picking up an odd cast of characters along the way. Will they find salvation? Can the flickering flame of love be rekindled amidst a planet on fire?

When it’s your last rodeo, hang on for dear life and ride it out. The end of the world was never so strange.

“Combustible is explosive! A hot new take on the end of the world.” Brian Keene, author of The Complex and Ghoul

“Showcases the best the genre has to offer—body horror, an unknowable and terrifying threat, a post-apocalyptic world told from the perspective of an every-man, and a marriage disintegrating in real time. I absolutely loved it.” – Laurel Hightower, author of CROSSROADS and BELOW

CLICK HERE TO BUY COMBUSTIBLE IN EBOOK OR PAPERBACK TODAY!

Dinner with Ghost Hunters

It’s been a while since I posted an original story here on the old blog and chain. This one is for my sister and brother-in-law, right down to the Cowboys jersey. This is a little flash fiction piece I call “Dinner With Ghost Hunters”. Hope you enjoy it. Please comment away!

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It had long been a rule of Tom’s not to go to dinner parties hosted by people he either didn’t know or didn’t like. He gripped the steering wheel a little too hard on the ride to the Gundersons, angry at Carolyn for ignoring one of his cardinal rules.

As they pulled into the driveway, he said, “Okay, call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”

Carolyn playfully slapped his arm, ignoring his discomfort. “At least you’ll get a free meal out of it.”

“Yeah, at what cost?”

Tom was so busy fuming about the night ahead that he didn’t notice the parked van until he walked smack into the rear double doors.

“What the?”

Carolyn was already at the front door, pinwheeling one hand to urge him forward. He joined her side, a tad woozy and holding his nose. Carolyn paid him no mind.

Missy Gunderson answered the door wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey and denim shorts. Hank Gunderson came up behind her smiling in his blue Giants jersey.

“Hey guys, come on in!,” Missy said. “We were hoping you could stay after dinner and watch the game. Hank just got one of those huge plasma TVs and is dying to show it off to someone.”

Casual dress? Plasma TV? Football?

Maybe I’ve been wrong about all of this, Tom thought.

After a round of introductions, Hank led them to the dining room for cocktails. As they walked past the living room, Tom noticed three men and one woman sitting in front of a folding table loaded with small monitors and computers. The quartet never looked their way.

“Don’t mind them,” Hank said to Tom. “They’ve been here for a week and we barely even notice them anymore.”

“Who are they?” Tom asked. Carolyn shot him a cautionary look. Don’t pry her eyes pleaded.

Missy laughed and said, “You’re not gonna believe this, but they’re from that TV show, Ghost Trackers. Hank thinks this house is haunted, so one night after watching the show he sent them an email and, well, here they are. I was dead set against it but they paid us some money, so Tom gets his TV and I get my new laptop.”

“And most importantly, I get some answers,” Hank added.

“Sounds exciting,” Carolyn said.

Missy leaned towards Tom and Carolyn and said, “Trust me, it’s pretty boring stuff. They do a lot of walking around and looking at monitors. I don’t know how they stay awake.”

Hank walked in carrying a tray of margaritas and they settled into the dining room. And true to Hank’s word, they soon forgot about the Ghost Trackers team in the next room. Tom quietly admitted to himself that he actually liked the Gundersons.

Two pleasant hours and one delicious steak dinner later, Tom was startled by the sound of high pitched beeping coming from the living room. That was followed by the shuffling of feet and excited conversation.

“What’s going on?” Tom said.

Hank peered into the living room, his arm frozen in place, drink halfway to his lips. “I have no idea.”

One of the team members rushed into the dining room and turned off the lights. “Get a camera in here!” he shouted.

The rest of the team followed, one holding a little handheld device that whined nervously, another with something that looked like a radar gun and two with large cameras propped on their shoulders.

“It’s right over there,” the woman shouted, pointing towards the area behind Tom.

“Flash!” someone shouted and a camera flash went off, momentarily blinding everyone.

“What’s over here?” Tom asked. He was promptly shushed by the woman.

“Do you see that mist, just over his head?” one of the cameramen whispered.

Tom jerked his head around but only saw darkness.

“Temperature’s dropping. Down five degrees, seven, ten degrees.”

“EMF is spiking at five. It’s right here, I can feel it.”

“Whoa, did you see that blue light? It just went behind him!”

Tom grabbed Carolyn’s hand and knocked over his chair as he jumped to his feet.

“We’re outta here,” Tom shouted. Again, he was shushed.

“It’s following him. Quick, keep a camera on him.”

Tom and Carolyn made their way through the darkened house while the Gundresona sat in mute shock. He slammed the front door on the cameraman that was hot on his heels, leaving the madness behind them.

“And that’s why I have rules,” he said to Carolyn, and promptly smashed face-first, again, into the front of the Ghost Trackers van.