Halloween Horrors and Humor For Hellions
Well, howdy Hellions! We’re just a few flips on our Dilbert desk calendars from the greatest day of the year. Sure, the fates have tried their best to destroy what we love most, but I say we spit in their bleary eyes! I have a couple of things to help get you in the mood (and no, it’s not me singing Let’s Get It On in the shower. I’m saving that for when I start an Only Fans account).
First up, the Monster Men practiced social distancing like good little ghouls for our 10th annual Halloween special. Hard to believe we’ve been at this for a decade. While we discuss the various things you all can do in quarantine (one is quite saucy, I must say), we also look at the great and not so great horror movies that hit the silver screen in 1978.
Now, choosing the movie to end Horrortober on Halloween night is no easy task. You can dip into the same old well with Carpenter’s Halloween or maybe Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. Or, you can read my latest Video Visions column and discover what I’m sure will be a new classic in your lair!
CLICK HERE TO DISCOVER A NEW WAY TO CAP OFF HALLOWEEN ON YOUR TV SCREEN!
Now get your costumes ready, your beers chilled and candy corns….well, candy corning. Happy Halloween!
Netflix Movies To Watch This #Horrortober
Today being the official start of Fall (even though it’ll feel like summer here), I’m as excited as a bat at sundown. #Horrotober, my month long celebration of the Halloween season, is just a week away. As always, I want you to revel in all things horror with me, which means filling our days and nights with scary movies, books, magazines and fun things to do.
So, first thing you need to do is line up movies to watch. I try to do 1 horror movie a day and always post them on twitter with the old #Horrortober hashtag. As a public service, here are some pretty good horror flix you can catch on Netflix to fill your schedule.
This rare Turkish horror movie starts out with five asshole cops sitting around a late night eatery. Kinda like Reservoir Dogs, except they’re not planning a crime and doling out funny names. They get called to a break in and then, my friends, all hell breaks loose. The visuals here are some of the most disturbing I’ve seen in years. This is high strangeness, a Clive Barker inspired fever dream with an antagonist that might make Pinhead shiver.
I loved the movie Don’t Breathe, which was the second half of what I call 2016’s disability horror. Hush is a home invasion movie where a deaf woman in a remote cabin is put through hell by an absolute psycho. The fact that she can’t hear him as he moves about the cabin, breaking windows, or even know the sounds she makes as she tries to lurk around really amps up the tension. It’s a little movie that packs a big punch.
Being an Irishman, I can never resist any movie set in Ireland, horror or otherwise. In this little surprise, an arborist moves his family to the woods, settling into an old house with iron bars on all of the windows. Why? Oh, you’ll find out. Very cool creature effects abound in this taut bit o nastiness.
Man gets invited by flaky ex-wife to come over for dinner with their old friends and some new ones. He obviously doesn’t want to be there, but the new woman in his life urges him on. We know right away something bad happened between these two. But that’s not what makes this little shindig so strange. You can file this under slow burn but with a great third act. It’s one of my favorite movies of the year.
THEY LOOK LIKE PEOPLE
Another low budget indie horror that has to depend on story and strong performances by a cast of folks you’ve probably never seen before. I honestly had no idea where this one was going. A down and out dude gets taken in by his friend but maybe he should have been left to his own devices. Because he’s getting strange calls and hearing voices and is a powder keg ready to explode.
Okay, that’s my two cents. What movies would you recommend? I’ll go through your responses and pick some folks at random to win ebooks of I Kill in Peace or The Waiting.