Bigfoot battling Chupacabras to the death! The Jersey Devil squaring off in an aerial fight with Thunderbirds! Mongolian Death Worms rising from the earth to swallow up Mothman! Dover Demons running rampant! Loch Ness Monsters bursting from the Loch to devour villages! The world is overrun with monsters, and only a select few can stop the madness.
Imagine all of that and so much more. Welcome to my Patreon exclusive choose your adventure monthly serial, CLASH OF THE CRYPTIDS!
Starting in September, we’re going to make history together with the first ever choose your adventure horror novel. CLASH OF THE CRYPTIDS will feature returning characters from my past books, including :
Rooster Murphy (Swamp Monster Massacre)
Nick Brogna (The Dover Demon)
Natalie & Austin McQueen, and Henrik Kooper (Loch Ness Revenge, Savage Jungle)
The Willet clan and Norm Cranston (The Jersey Devil)
Dalton Gray (The Montauk Monster)
And a few more surprise guests.
For just $1 a month, you not only get to read each monthly installment, but vote on where the next chapter will take us. A poll will be posted after each chapter and YOU DECIDE the next chapter. For $3 a month, you’ll also be a character that will eventually become cryptid chow. Monsters gotta eat! For $5 a month, you’ll receive a print edition of the book when it’s complete. And all pledge levels get other exclusive access and behind the scenes peeks into my insane life.
So, if you want to be part of cryptid history, visit Patreon today and become a true blue Hellion. We’re taking the cryptid mania right to 11.
Special shout out goes to Jerry Mulcahy for designing some of the best damn artwork for this beast of a book!
Strap in folks. The world’s about to get a whole lot more interesting.
You wanted a Megalodon book, you’ve got it. Even better, it drops right on shark week. I couldn’t have asked for better timing.
Hellions around the world, I present MEGALODON IN PARADISE!
The cover should tell you, this ain’t your typical Meg adventure.
Island life can be deadly.
For Ollie Arias, owning an island in Micronesia is beyond his wildest dreams. Moving his best friends from college to share his dream…priceless. A little urban exploration of the abandoned military lab unearths strange, dark secrets. And awakens a slumbering beast that has gone decades without food. Ollie and his pals have unwittingly unleashed a deadly infection above, and a prehistoric killing machine below. The storm of the century is headed their way. Paradise has never been so close to hell.
So after you’ve watched Michael Phelps race a Great White, click here to order your copy of Megalodon in Paradise and see what a real bad ass shark is capable of. Phelps would have been chum in two seconds with the beastie in this one.
The very first of my Mail Order Massacres novellas, JUST ADD WATER, has leapt from the pages of comic books and into homes everywhere! Did you ever order Sea Monkeys from a comic book as a kid? In JUST ADD WATER, two boys tear the order form from a Wonder Woman comic for a chance to own the Amazing Live Sea Serpents. That was their first mistake.
GROW AMAZING LIVE SEA SERPENTS!
It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:
Just add water . . . and watch them grow!
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .
WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.
It’s been weeks since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .
All of the books in the Mail Order Massacres series are quick, nostalgic, humorous and gory trips back to the late 1970s and early 1980s. All are based on what you used to be able to order from the pages of comic books…gone horribly wrong. Optical Delusion comes out in August, followed by Money Back Guarantee in October. For now, sprinkle your Sea Serpents in your tank and watch ’em grow! Have a gun nearby.
JUST ADD WATER is only $1.99, just like all those comic book goodies back in the day!
Now, if you stuck with me this far, answer this question for a chance to win a free copy of the book. What did you want most from those comic book wonders when you were a kid?
Oh baby, do I love this cover! Severed Press nailed it. This is exactly the kind of cover I had hoped for when this nasty skunk ape novella first came out with Samhain. Word on the grapevine is the book will be available, in ebook and for the first time PRINT, in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!
As for my other Samhain titles, I’m in talks with an esteemed publisher about getting them all back out in the world. Can’t wait to be able to tell you about it.
So, what do you all think?
Okay Hellions, I’m about to give you your spring reading assignment, so pay close attention…
As you all know, I don’t just write about cryptids – I read everything about them I can get my hands on. Some of the most enjoyable cryptid horror of the past few years has been the Chupacabra Chronicles series by Raegan Butcher. These are flat out, balls to the wall monster madness and mayhem. You have never seen Chupacabras like the beasties in Butcher’s crazy books. The third installment, RISE OF THE CHUPACABRAS just came out and I can’t wait to dive in.
I recently finished reading the second in the series, REVOLT OF THE CHUPACABRAS, and it was the most batshit, insane, laugh out loud cryptid romp of all time. Set in a Mexican jungle, it’s filled with gladiator fights to the death, mad scientists, a maniacal drug lord, a multitude of morphing chupacabras and more.
Aaand, counting down to the one that started it all (I feel like Casey Kasem) is FURY OF THE CHUPACABRAS, where we meet our former drug dealing band of Chupacabra hunters. If you think their job sounds cool, read the book and find a new vocation.
If you’ve read my books and didn’t think I took things far enough, well, Raegan Butcher is just the man for you. If you picked up all 3 in ebook, you’d spend less than ten bucks for hours of reading pleasure. Trust me, it’s money well spent. Unlike the dough I forked over for La La Land.