Tag Archive | Hunter Shea

My Night on the Queen Mary

As a man who writes about the paranormal (with a strong leaning towards ghosts) and has had a profound experience with the paranormal (an old hotel, alone, Barcelona, future blog), I couldn’t resist the chance to spend one night aboard the famed Queen Mary during a recent trip to Long Beach, CA. I won’t go into the history of this magnificent ship here, but there are plenty of places to bone up on it. And there is an equal, if not greater, number of places on the web to view the various hauntings aboard the retired vessel. Just You Tube away and you can spend a perfect, quiet evening creeping yourself out. Here’s one of the most compelling ones out there, showing diaphanous white figures moving about a corridor.

Despite its title as one of the most haunted places in the US, I went aboard, alone, with little expectations. I wanted to tour the ship during the daytime on my own, have a nice dinner in one of their fine restaurants, and take a paranormal walking tour that night. It was the perfect ending to a long week in California. My first impression when I pulled my car into the lot was that this ship is huge! We’re talking making-whales-look-like-teeny-ants huge. Because of its age, for some reason, I wasn’t expecting something quite as grand or as wonderfully preserved.

The weather all week had been overcast and drizzly, so I was happy to finally see blue, and dry, skies. I checked into my room, quickly dropped my bags onto the bed and headed back out into the sun so I could walk the various decks.

Before I go further, I need to say that my room was at the end of a very long corridor, and for my stay, I believe I was the only person checked in for that section of the deck. OK, that was a bit unsettling, even more so when I realized it was one of the very same corridors that people have experienced sounds of footsteps, voices and even fully body apparitions.

OK, back to my day and night. I made a quick stop to the coctail bar for a drink and something to eat, then spent the next three hours walking in and out of every corner of the ship open to the public. If I was ever going to describe a location as stately, this is the place. You can feel the weight of history in every nook and cranny of the Queen Mary. The energy of the millions of lives that have come and gone aboard her wooden decks lingers like heavy smoke. That’s not to say that I had any odd ‘psychic’ feelings. I actually felt very much at home and enjoyed learning about the ship’s past. At one point, I purchased my ticket for the paranormal walking tour of the ship that went from 8-10pm. I wanted to make sure I was wide awake for the tour, so I took a nap, had a nice dinner looking out at the bay, and waited midship for the tour to begin.

Now the fun begins! We had a crowd of about 20 people ranging in age from about 14 to 70, and an almost even mix of males to females (for all you satistic hounds out there). Our tour was given by two men. One, who led the tour and did most of the talking, and the other whose job was to walk behind the crowd so no one got lost. He was also there to escort people off the tour if they got so frightened, they couldn’t take another step. The man was built like Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still and looked kinda like those doctors from the Twilight Zone episode where the woman wants to be beautiful, which we find out is looking like some sort of phantom human/pig hybrid. I thought, OK, they’ve already gotten people spooked and we haven’t even taken our first step. Bravo!

We walked down into the bowels of the ship. We’re talking 30 feet below the water. It’s cold, dark as hell and otherworldly. Our first stop is one of the mechanical rooms where a sailor was supposedly crushed to death by a steel door. The tour guide pulls out metal divining rods and says this is how the spirits like to communicate. After a bit of coaxing, he gets the rods to move when he asks certain questions. He even asked it if it could point to anyone it might want to visit in their room that night. Wouldn’t you know it pointed right at me? And I was hanging in the back talking to Twilight Zone guy, well out of the line of sight. We walked into another part of the room and stayed silent for a while. Odd sounds and banging started chirping up from different corners of the room.

I saw a brown blur race past the ceiling above these pipes.

The guides seemed surprised by the level of activity here and commented that they hadn’t heard it this lively in months. As most of the crowd was paying attention to a little maglight they had brought (to see if a ghost would turn it on), I kept my attention to the top level of the room, which was where I thought most of the noises were emanating from. I saw a flash of shapeless, almost see-through brown zip across the ceiling. Assuming it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I kept it to myself. That was until Twilight Zone leaned into me and said, “Did you just see something race across there?” Before I could answer, the woman in front of me said, “It was kinda brown, right?” I agreed. That was my first chill of the night.

Next stop was the place everyone was itching to see. The famous pool. People have seen and heard the spirit of a little girl and an older woman here. (On a side note, an episode of the original Charlie’s Angels was filmed here, before the pool was shut down for good). The atmosphere in the pool area was heavy and I kept waiting to hear a little girl’s voice call out from the beyond. That was not to happen.

After the pool, we went to the changing area, which is said to contain a vortex to the other side. I stood on the vortex and only felt slightly claustrophobic because the area itself is cramped with a very low ceiling. Nothing fun to report there.We ended the tour by going to a purpotedly haunted room where no one is allowed to stay. I only felt a bit of sadness in the room. Maybe it was because it looked so desperately alone, like an outcast. After the tour, everyone was encouraged to explore further. The ship itself is open 24 hours a day, so anyone can come on board and poke around. I decided to hit the hay and hope the ghost from the defunct mechanical room would find someone else to haunt. As I said earlier, I’ve already had a ghostly encounter in a hotel room, and I don’t wish to repeat it. I did wake up very early the next day and walked the ship again, this time without anyone else about. I figured if I was going to see a ghost, this was the perfect time. Sadly, it was not to be, but not from lack of trying. I spent almost 2 hours skulking about and sitting in dark rooms. I came up with nada. As I checked out and got into my rental car, I thought, Did I really witness a ghost in the mechanical room? I’m still not sure. Maybe I did. That’s enough for now. How many of you have been on the Queen Mary? Did you take one of the ghost tours? Come on and share your experience so we can all sleep with the light on. For more on the paranormal, here’s a link to Forest of Shadows.

Book Cover Preview

To say I’m a tad psyched is a massive understatement. My editor at Samhain Publishing sent me over the 1st draft of the cover for my book, Forest of Shadows, that is slated to come out this fall. Had to go through a totally new, much appreciated process this time to work with the art department. I was given a 3 page document to complete that listed main plot points, physical charactersitics of the hero and villain, my own suggestions and things I didn’t want to see on the cover.

It was nice to have some input and to find a first draft that is dead on with what I was picturing in my mind. As an author, you don’t often have much control when it comes to the look of your book. Huge thanks to Don D’Auria, my awesome editor, and the folks at Samhain Publishing. It seems every time I go through the  publishing process, I learn something new.

Tell me what you think. Does this look like something that would grab your attention on a book shelf?

Forest of Shadows Cover

Job Security — Part 1

For the past several years, zombies have been all the craze in the horror world. Personally, I’ve been obsessed with the subject ever since my father took me to see the original Dawn of the Dead.

Job Security is my little addition to the zombie genre. I’ve broken it up into easily digestible bits (kinda like nice, soft brains) and will post a new section each week. Enjoy!

JOB SECURITY

By Hunter Shea

PART ONE:

The sun was out that day for the first time in over a week, but Russell Banks didn’t have the spare time to notice. Every day was the same as far as he was concerned. Wake up, piss, shower, change and go to work until the sun went down, even on summer days when the Georgia sun reluctantly said goodnight at nine o’clock every night.

            Banks Textiles was built with Russell’s sweat and blood and while he was still on this earth, he would continue to pour his very soul into the business at the expense of his own social life. Just ask his ex-wife, June, and the two boys he hasn’t seen in close to three years.

            Thanks to the cancer that was outsourcing, the textile business in America was fast becoming a by-gone industry. You could hear Russell Banks decry the goddamn foreigners about ten times a day, along with countless other colorful epithets.

            So it came to be that Russell was immersed in his duties as captain of the sinking ship on that bright, humid Tuesday when his secretary Hannah barged into his office looking waxen.

            “Excuse me, Mr. Banks?”

            “Hannah, I don’t have time,” he barked behind his imposing oak desk. A phone headset sat atop his balding scalp and he scanned the data on two computer monitors that sat side by side amidst the clutter.

            He was too busy to notice that the old girl looked about ready to faint.

            “But, someone’s here to see you and…”

            He cut her off with a sharp wag of his finger and spoke into the fiber optic tube by his mouth. “Don’t give me excuses. Call me back in ten minutes with an answer.” He angrily punched the disconnect button on his pone, cursed the entire country of India and began poking through a mound of loose papers.

            When he looked up and saw his secretary leaning against the door with eyes as wide and terrified as soon-to-be road kill, he asked, “Why are you still here. I told you, I don’t have time.”

            “Bob Samson is here to see you,” she blurted out, her voice rising.

            Russell removed his headset and gently placed it on the desk. Hannah had never acted like this before and he prayed it wasn’t some change of life episode. Sometimes women could be as irritating and life draining as the foreigners.

            “Who the hell is Bob Samson and why the hell are you getting so worked up about it?” he said in a calm, even tone that barely masked his simmering anger.

            Hannah moved away from the door and sat across from him. She looked about ready to jump out the window.

            Her chin quivered as she said, “Bob Samson used to work in the factory. He was a line worker until last week. He came to get his job back.”

            Ah, a former disgruntled employee, Russell thought. He probably came in all full of piss and vinegar and put the fear of God in her. Well, that was nothing a quick call to security couldn’t fix. As he dialed the extension for security, he said, “If he lost his job in the first place, it was for a good reason. I’ll have security come up and fetch him.”

            Hannah leaped up and swatted the phone away. Russell jumped back in his chair, stunned.

            “You don’t understand, Mr. Banks. Bob Samson died last week!”

            Before he could retort, come up with something to gently suggest Hannah had lost her mind, there was a knock on the door, just three soft taps. The doorknob turned and Hannah dashed behind Russell sitting in his big swivel chair.

            The smell made its greeting moments before Bob Samson came waltzing in. He looked as if he’d been black in life, but death had cast a gray pallor to his livid flesh. Removing his baseball cap, Russell noticed a tuft of wiry black hair pull from his scalp and plop onto his floor, weighted down by a small chunk of skin.

            “I’m awful sorry about that,” Bob Samson said, reaching down to pick up that small part of himself and stuffing it into his pocket. “Seems I’m still getting used to my, ah, current condition.” He smiled, revealing a perfect set of pearly whites, the end result of Banks Textiles’ superb dental plan. Seeing such a set of choppers in a walking, talking corpse was about the only thing that kept Russell from losing his lunch, for no amount of polite banter could mask Bob Samson’s stench. It reminded Russell of the time he had found a dead deer while hiking in the woods. It had been sitting in the sun, bloated and gnawed upon by bugs and other animals beyond recognition, for close to a week.

            Oblivious to their terror and disgust, Bob went on as if talking to a corpse was an everyday occurrence. “Now I know this is a bit of a shock and I don’t have an appointment and all, but I really wanted to talk to you personally, Mr. Banks. I mean, the first time I was alive I never got the chance to thank you for the job you and your company gave me. Why, it kept a roof over my head and food on my table for close to thirty years and I can’t think of anyone else that would do that for a man like myself.”

            Russell and Hannah sat in mute silence.

            “I know I’m not the most educated man in the world, but I was always a hard worker.”

            “But…but, you’re dead,” Russell said. There was no need for a death certificate. His nose and eyes were all he needed to confirm the truth.

            Bob laughed and slapped his thigh. “Was dead, was dead. When I woke up in that box, believe me, I was just as surprised then as you are now. Took me a better part of a day getting myself out of that fix. Now, I don’t profess to know how this happened or why. I never was much for goin’ to church and I stopped my schoolin’ when I was about nine. All I know is I’m back and I can’t think of a better thing to do with myself than come back to work for you, Mr. Banks. You might say I’m a new and improved model, because I don’t need sleep or food, so if you’ll have me, you got yourself a 24/7 employee.” He leaned back in his chair and marveled at the possibilities. “Well, maybe I’ll take a smoke break every now and then. At least now I know the smokin’ can’t hurt me.”

Click here to read part 2!

 

Check out Forest of Shadows by Hunter Shea : "Dark, intense and not afraid to get down and dirty."

Great Horror Novels Not by King or Koontz

Don’t get me wrong, Stephen King and Dean Koontz are great writers and I’ve read dozens of their books. But there are so many other excellent authors out there that most people have never heard of. So, I feel it’s my duty to spread the word about these captains of the horror world and some of their better books. Every month I’ll post 3 different books so you have time to pick them up and read them. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

1. The Store, by Bentley Little. — Bentley is a master at exposing the dark fears hidden behind every day people, places and events. He’s arguably the best in the biz now. The Store is a twisted story of a Walmart-ish superstore run by the worst that hell has to offer. Clean up in aisle 666!

2. Necroscope, by Brian Lumley. This is the first in a series of vampire books that Lumley wrote in the 80’s. After all the crap we’ve seen about vampires, this should purge the sparkle from them. These beasts are otherwordly and downright savage. Possibly one of the best horor series ever written.

3. The Magic Cottage, by James Herbert. Not many folks in the US know about his work. Basically, James Herbert is the Stephen King of the UK. And this book is one of his best. Thanks to my pal Karl the Welsh Dragon for turning me on to him.

So now the question is, what books do you think should go on this list?

Need more horror? Brave enough to enter the Forest of Shadows? 

What are some of your favorite horror novels? It’s always great to discover new authors and books.

An Interview with Katrina Weidman from Paranormal State

Are you a fan of PARANORMAL LOCKDOWN? Want to find out more about Katrina Weidman? You’ve come to the right place!

Back in 2010, I was lucky enough to interview Katrina for a magazine that, unfortunately, fell on hard times, so the interview was never published.

For those of you who don’t know Katrina, she is a Penn State graduate with a dual degree in Integrative Arts. Katrina was born and raised in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. She joined PRS in 2006 along with Heather and became the team’s interviewer as well as an investigator. When Dead Time comes around (Dead Time begins at 3 a.m., when spirit activity is purported to be at its most potent), you can be sure Katrina will be sitting vigil, calling out to any spirits in the room, inviting them to make a noise or touch her hand, with nothing but her Katrina Cam for company. In those moments, we see that Katrina isn’t Superwoman. She’s just the same as we would be in her shoes; curious, cautious, often times brave and sometimes scared. The search for proof of the paranormal trumps any trepidation she may have and viewers quietly cheer Katrina and the team on while vacillating between wishing they were there, exploring the unknown, and being quite content to watch from the safety of their familiar couch.

HS : Is there any specific event from your past that sparked your interest in the paranormal?

KW : Yes! The first house I lived in (from the time I was born until age 6) had a lot of activity in it.  I was very young at the time so all I remember was being scared to death to be left alone upstairs or in my bedroom.  I have an older sister and I would constantly follow her downstairs.  Even though we had our own rooms I fought to sleep in her bed.

My sister remembers a lot her experiences from that house.  She used to see a man walk into the bathroom at night. According to her, this happened on several occasions.  She also remembers seeing a little girl sitting on my bed. Assuming it was me, she thought nothing of it, until she got to the bottom of the stairs and I was sitting there putting together a puzzle.  I actually remember this day, too.  I was putting together a Winnie the Pooh puzzle and I remember my sister saying, “How did you do that!?” I obviously answered, “Do what?” Of course this went back and forth for some time until we realized that I couldn’t possibly have been in both places at once.  Looking back at it, my sister does remember that there was something very “odd” about this little girl, although she could never put her finger on it.  The next two families after that also experienced similar activity, all very childlike, and one of the last reports out of that house is a guest seeing a man walk down the attic stairs and disappear.

HS : Can you describe your first paranormal investigation and the feelings you experienced? Do you remember how it turned out?

KW : I remember it was mid-November 2006.  I actually joined the investigation a day late because I was at a wedding the night before in Philadelphia.  The team and I were investigating a house in between State College and Pittsburgh, PA. We named it “The Dark Man”. I remember feeling really shy, which if you know me, is NOT me at all!  I was pretty quiet on that case as I had just met everyone, except Heather (my partner in crime). There was a crew of about twenty people, again, all of who I just met, and cameras were in my face the duration of the investigation.  It was, to say the least, a little intimidating. I remember just wanting to do a good job.  This is something I had always wanted to do and I just wanted to learn everything I could! The house felt uneasy.  I’m not sure what was there, but if we’re labeling things I would say it was HAUNTED!

Heather and Eilfie shared the bed in the master bedroom and I was on the couch right next to the bed.  I felt fine, until everyone started to fall asleep.  I kept telling myself, “Even if you have to pee, you’re laying here!” I did not want to get up in the middle of the night in that house, that’s for sure! Evidence-wise, our crew had all their batteries drain consistently and they had numerous other problems with their equipment. We had a flashlight explode and overall everyone just had a very creepy feeling being there. I remember leaving and feeling really good about the work we had done.  Helen, the client, had completely welcomed us into her home and treated us like family by the time we left.  That is something I’ll never forget.

HS : Are there any special preparations you and the team make, whether physical, spiritual or emotional, before you enter a location or Dead Time that we don’t see on TV?

KW : I’m sure we all have something we do.  Everyone is pretty private about it, though.  For me, I just tell myself, “You can do this, don’t get scared”, because I still get scared from time to time.  If I’m really scared I just ask for my brother to watch over me.

HS : You really do a great job interviewing children on a topic that I’m sure is frightening and confusing to them. They seem very at ease with you. How does your approach to interviewing children differ from that of interviewing adults?

KW : With children, you really need to take your time.  It’s not something you can get done in ten minutes.  You have to play with them, show them you’re fun and befriend them.  We usually go to their bedroom because they feel the most comfortable and “at home” there and I ask them what kind of game(s) they want to play.  Kids get bored if you ask them question after question after question.  So we’ll play a game, then I’ll ask some questions, then play another game, then I’ll ask some more questions.  I’ve never had to play a game with an adult client to get them to feel more at ease, but sometimes I wonder if it would help the process, just a little.

HS : Have you ever been frightened on a case (especially when it’s just you and your trusty “Katrina Cam” in a dark room)? If so, can you name an incident that frightened or, perhaps better, unsettled you the most? How do you cope with fear of the unknown?

KW : Yes! It was during the season four opener “Suicide Spirits”. Heather and I were in the kitchen after just hearing footsteps from above moments before, and we heard the basement door, which was just a few feet away, start to  POUND, almost like someone was on the other side trying to kick it in.  We ran!  Our first thought was “someone broke into the house”. I don’t think I have ever held onto someone as tightly as I did that night!  We took a few minutes and calmed ourselves down.  After the initial fear and shock wore off, we remembered, “we are investigators and we have a job to do” so we went back in and checked it out.  That’s usually what I say to myself whenever I do get scared, “you’re an investigator”, and I think about all the women out there who do this and that in some way I’m representing them and I’m not going to represent them by running out of a room with flailing arms screaming!

HS : With PRS, you have Eilfie on board as your resident demonologist. Do you feel all ghost hunting groups should have one as well, or at least someone they can contact in instances of a possible demonic haunting? In your experience, how often have you come across demonic entities?

KW : Eilfie is more of our resident Occultist.  Whenever we do run into a darker haunting we usually consult with Lorraine Warren because she has worked on darker cases for the last forty some years.  I do think it’s a good idea for teams to have specialists they can call on.  Not just demonologists though, electricians, psychologists, doctors, etc.  It’s always good to have people on hand that you trust because you may think you know how a case is going to go, but that can change quickly once you step into the field.

HS : What was your favorite investigation?

KW : My Favorite investigation was probably the “Pet Cemetery”, which aired during season one.  I think it’s because if we got that case now, we probably wouldn’t even give it a second glance.  The biggest thing the clients were claiming was that their dog was acting weird and that two previous dogs were hit by cars.  Obviously, that stuff is pretty easy to explain away.  There are a thousand different reasons why a dog would start acting different. Unbeknown to us at the time, there was actually something to it. Every owner of that house since the 1960s had a dog go haywire while living there, a complete personality change, then the dog would run out into the middle of the street and get hit by a car.  This is a little town in Maine. Maybe ten cars travel on it per day, tops. The odds of four or five dogs getting hit by a car seemed pretty slim.  Then low and behold, we find out a previous owner used to beat and kill dogs, for fun apparently.  That was our AHA moment!  I love this case because it showed us a thing or two, that even if it sounds outlandish or completely explainable, it just might not be.  Never assume anything in this field.

HS : We all know that not every case reveals a haunting. How many investigations do you film for Paranormal State compared to the number that actually make it to air?

KW : We get asked this a lot.  Every case we do is filmed and every case makes it to air.  PRS has been an organization since 2001 and there were many cases that they investigated before the show came along, but since the show started everything has graced the screen.  We are looking to do private investigations again. We all feel very strongly about that, however, with our schedule, it’s been hard to find the time to take on a private investigation. But it is something we’re working towards.

HS : Do you ever worry about “brining your work home” with you and finding you now have a haunting that’s attached itself to you?

KW : It’s really not something I’ve thought of or was concerned about. I did, however, have an experience after an investigation in Kentucky where I know something attached itself to me. Back home, I noticed that I had unconsciously changed my habits, like I wasn’t singing in the house…I normally to love to sing. I felt that someone was watching me and even heard breathing close to my ear a couple of times. I spoke to Ryan about it and he said not to give in to my fear because that would only give strength to whatever had found its way into my house. Thankfully, after 3 months, it eventually stopped and things went back to normal.

HS : Does filming during an investigation make it harder or easier to do your job?

KW : There have been times where it’s been harder.  When you want to go investigate or talk to someone, you have to wait for the cameras.  We haven’t always been great at that, but I think we’re pretty used to it now and it comes as second nature at this point.  The only problem is when we run into people (witnesses or potential clients) who won’t appear on camera because they’re worried about how other people (the audience) will look at them.  We have lost potential cases because of this.  We also get the people who are just looking to be on TV, but we weed through them pretty quickly.

HS : I see PRS is now breaking from the Penn State campus and will become a national organization, yet the campus paranormal club will remain. Can you explain what that means for PRS?

KW : As of right now we are officially broken from Penn State.  This is just because none of us are students and it was time to “stand on our own” if you will.  At this point there is no longer a student club in existence, but there are students working to get the club up and running again.

HS : Are there any special haunted places you’d like PRS to visit in the future? What would be your dream investigation?

KW : I’d love to check out Waverly Hills, I’ve had so many investigators tell me crazy experiences they’ve had and I’ve seen some amazing evidence come out of there.  My dream investigation though would be to investigate the house I grew up in.  I’d like to finally have answers as to who or what was there.

HS : PRS seems to be a really tight knit family. Like any family, I’m sure you all have your ups and downs. How has it been working with Ryan, Sergey, Eilfie and Heather (just to name a few)? Who would you say you’re closest to?

KW : We definitely have our ups and downs. We have our arguments and our agreements, but we always manage to work everything out and come to a common ground, which is a key foundation in any relationship.  I’d have to say I’m the closest to Heather.  I think it’s because Heather and I went through training together, we were the newbies of the group, and Heather and I have a lot in common.  I actually met her at my second meeting in PRS and we talked afterwards for a while.  So we were becoming fast friends before we were picked for the team.  Typical girls, what we both remember about each other the first time we met is each other’s shoes and how much we liked them.

HS : What’s next for you? Do you plan to stay with PRS and Paranormal State?

KW : Since I graduated I underwent training to become a crisis counselor and for the last two years I have been volunteering at a crisis centre.  I definitely can’t wait to return to acting, music, writing, etc., but I don’t think I’ll ever leave the paranormal.  It really is a passion and part of my roots.  Every time I try to take a break from it I find myself picking up a book on ghosts, or doing research on UFOs, or telling a perfect stranger a ghost story with them giving me that, “she’s crazy” look.  Being an investigator has been a great outlet to explore my passion for this field and given me the opportunity to meet and work with people who, just like me, want answers.


In the mood for a ghost story? How about a chilling tale of what happens when you hunt for ghosts…and they hunt back! 

Forest-of-Shadows-ebook


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The Rebirth of Horror

Like most people, I was devastated, angry and temporarily lost when Leisure Books (Dorchester Publishing) completely imploded last year. In just one month, they stopped printing paperbacks, lost most of their treasured authors and parted ways with their editor, Don D’Auria, the man responsible for keeping horror not only alive, but an important and valuable genre in the publishing industry.

After over a decade of trying to break into Leisure, Don had accepted my novel just a little over a month before it all fell apart. It was kind of like getting that pony you always wished for on Christmas, only to watch in horror as dad backed his SUV over it in the driveway.

I thought all was lost and I was truly ready to throw in the towel. I’m glad I didn’t (and big thanks to my agent Louise Fury for that). I know this was announced in January, but not everyone is aware that hope has arrived. (The following from sfscope.com)

Don D’Auria lands at Samhain

By Ian Randal Strock  
Don D’Auria has joined Samhain Publishing as Executive Editor. He will oversee the company’s new horror line, which will launch in October. Previously D’Auria was executive editor for Leisure Books at Dorchester Publishing.

Samhain is looking for supernatural or non-supernatural, contemporary or historical horror novels from new or experienced authors (agented or un-agented). “Content can range from subtle and unsettling to gory and shocking. The writing is what counts.”