Screw yard sales where strangers fondle my stuff and try to rip me off for my collector’s edition Six Million Dollar Man Bigfoot action figure. Or take a whiff of my old bowling shoes, turning away in disgust. I have a wife to give me those looks, thank you very much.
Nope, I prefer to do this the new-fashioned way. It’s over 90 degrees here in the Big Rotten Apple, which gets me to thinking of books to bring to the beach. If you want to build your own beach read pile, I’m here to help. It’s time for a book sale!
I have limited quantities of the titles above, along with a couple of others. If you’d like one, or two or more, send an email to email@example.com with the titles you’d like and your address. Payments will be made via Paypal. All books will be personally made out to you so you can prove to everyone that you’re a true Hellion. You’ll also get bookmarks and I’m going to see if I have any official Hellion stickers in the mess I call an office. Be the coolest Mofo on the beach. Impress the ladies. Capture the man of your dreams. Read horror and grow rich!
The prices below include shipping.
WE ARE ALAWAYS WATCHING – $15
SWAMP MONSTER MASSACRE – $12
SAVAGE JUNGLE – $12
THE DOVER DEMON (NOW OUT OF PRINT) – $15
LOCH NESS REVENGE – $12
THE JERSEY DEVIL – $10
THE MONTAUK MONSTER -$10
TORTURES OF THE DAMNED – $10
THEY RISE – $12
I know, Hellions, that’s one strange ass title for a blog post, but that’s exactly what it’s all about.
Thanks goes out to an old friend, Brenda B., for sharing this photo and story with me. Somehow, during my research into the Jersey Devil, I missed this! Back in the 60’s in New Jersey, a cow and a deer carcass somehow made it to the top of a telephone pole. Locals attributed it to their friendly neighborhood monster.
Cryptozoologists say the Jersey Devil has kept a very low profile since the early 1900s, but if you go out and talk to the people who live there, you’ll get a completely different opinion. And here’s another shocker – I can’t believe how many folks have first hand Bigfoot encounters in the Pine Barrens. I’ve spoken to quite a few, some of them still visibly upset, even if it happened years ago.
I wonder if this was the Jersey Devil’s idea of a pinata? Maybe she just wanted to throw a party for her horrid offspring.
And speaking of horrid offspring, Pinnacle has discounted all of my books for the month of February. You can snag an ebook of The Montauk Monster for $1.99, The Jersey Devil for 99 cents or Tortures of the Damned for 99 cents. Time to load up those e-readers on the cheap!
What’s the strangest thing ever found on a telephone pole? For me, we threw a Batman figure that had a parachute attached to our phone line. It stayed there for about 10 years, poor Batsy’s color fading with each year.
Over the course of writing The Jersey Devil, the elusive cryptid and I have gotten pretty close. He recently told me, over a cup of what he said was mulled wine, but I suspect it was something far more disquieting, that he wanted to get out and travel the country, if not the world. After over 200 years in the Pine Barrens, it’s time to spread his wings, so to speak.
“There’s just one teensy weensy little problem,” he said to me, tapping his cloven hoof on his chin. “I’m afraid there are too many monster hunters out and about nowadays. You see them bumbling about with their night vision cameras. I fear for my safety as much as my anonymity. The last thing I want is to be featured on some reality paranormal show…or shot!” Shivering, he added, “I don’t know which would be worse.”
Point well taken. We sat against the pygmy pines in the dark of night, contemplating his dilemma. As a cloud obscured the moon and the howl of a nearby Sasquatch got our attention (“Oh, that’s just Larry,” JD said), an idea came to me.
“How would you like to live vicariously through my book?” I asked.
Old JD flicked his tail excitedly. “How so?”
Knowing he’s a big fan of Instagram and Twitter (whereas Bigfoot prefers SnapChat & the Loch Ness Monster is partial to Facebook), I told him that I and my Hellions could take the book wherever we go and post pictures on Instagram with the hashtag #JerseyDevil. That way, he could see the world while in the relative comfort of his forest preserve.
“Oooo, I like that. Can you take me to a cemetery first? I’m so tired of the ones around here. It’s so…so…dead out here in the Barrens.”
The next day, I did just that, taking the book to the oldest cemetery in my city.
He wrote me back immediately on Instagram. “Love it! So nice to see new headstones. Where to next?”
Indeed. Where to next?
That’s where you come in. Help old JD out and tote your copy of The Jersey Devil with you when you’re out and about, on vacation, even in the house puttering around. Post your pic on Instagram using #jerserydevil and @huntershea2017 or Twitter using #JerseyDevil and @huntershea1 so the beast and I can collect and enjoy this little travelogue.
We’ll pick people at random every week to receive free books from the Hunter Shea library!
It’s the holiday season. Be kind to cryptids. And have fun doing it. It will be interesting to see where The Jersey Devil ends up. Plus, it’s always a smart idea to keep a monster happy. You wouldn’t want an angry Jersey Devil tapping on your window late at night, would you? Don’t end up the main ingredient in his ‘mulled wine’. Just saying.
You know, we Monster Men always go the extra mile for our fans, especially during Horrortober. With soooo many pumpkin ales out there now to choose from, which one should you be chugging while you watch Halloween or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Jack and I are here to help.
In our third annual Horrortober Booze Fest, which we call Beers for Fears, we tackled 4 pumpkin ales and ranked them for you. As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you’ll see that taste is in the buds of the tongue. Enjoy a couple of beer slobs (not snobs) sipping ale and munching on pumpkin spice Oreos. We’re also giving away signed copies of Dark Dossier Magazine, so find out how you can get one!
Howdy Hellions, just wanted to let you all know there’s a fun little giveaway running over at Night Owl Reviews where you can win some cold, hard Amazon cash. It’s all to spread the word about The Jersey Devil. The giveaway runs until the end of September.
If you’ve read the book, please leave a brief review on Amazon. If you want to pick up a copy of the book, please buy it through the Amazon link in my bookstore. Both help a lot and keep me writing day and night to give you nightmares or make the little monster in you giggle just a tad. And thank you to everyone who has already gone to the deep corners of the Pine Barrens with me.
Just click the image below to enter the giveaway. Good luck! Hope a Hellion wins.