Instant Carnage – JUST ADD WATER

Gather round, Hellions, I have a special bit of insanity to share. You can now pre-order my upcoming novella, JUST ADD WATER, coming out with Lyrical Press in June. It’s the first in a trilogy of connected novellas coming out this summer called the Money Back Guarantee series. They’re all set in the late 1970s/early 1980s and center around the amazing crap you used to be able to buy from comic books. If you grew up in that era, odds are you conned your parents into buying one of these awful ripoffs.

GROW AMAZING LIVE SEA SERPENTS!

It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:

Just add water . . . and watch them grow!

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .

WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.

It’s been years since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .

The other 2 novellas are OPTICAL DELUSION and MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. You can pre-order all of them, though the covers aren’t ready for the last 2 yet. The best part is, they’re only $1.99 each. And if all goes well, all three will be bundled in a paperback in 2018. So grab your X-ray specs, grow some Sea Monkeys and head on down the road to ruin!