Tag Archive | Lyrical Underground

Just in Time for Halloween – THE DEVIL’S FINGERS

That’s right hellions, the final book in my One Size Eats All Trilogy is finally here! THE DEVIL’S FINGERS is a nasty “be careful when you go in the woods” tale of conspiracy, infection and brutal murder. Think of it as a mashup of Day of the Triffids/Cabin Fever/Friday the 13th/Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

devils fingers

WHAT HAS LONG PINK FINGERS AND SMELLS LIKE ROTTING FLESH?
It is a slime-covered fungus known for its pinkish red tentacles and pungent odor. It is indigenous to Australia but has spread to North America. Its Latin name is Clathrus Archeri, also known as Octopus Stinkhorn. Most people call it The Devil’s Fingers . . .

I DON’T KNOW BUT IT’S GROWING ON YOUR NECK. 
Deep in the woods of Washington, botanist Autumn Winters stumbles onto a field of the luridly colored fungi. Two of her fellow campers make the mistake of touching it. Now it’s growing on them. Fleshy gelatinous pods. Sprouting from their skin. Feeding on their blood . . .

AND IT’S STILL GROWING.
Autumn watches in horror as her friends are transformed into monstrosities—grotesque, human-fungal hybrids as contagious and deadly as any virus. Autumn knows she must destroy these mutations before they return to civilization. But if there’s one thing that spreads faster than fear, it’s The Devil’s Fingers . . .

“The descriptions of pods bursting with tentacles wiggling was enough to make me gag. I had a hard time not reading this book in one sitting. If you’re a fan of Hunter this will not disappoint. Go and download a copy, it’s a must read. Just be warned, the level of gross is high in the pages of this one…” — The Scary Reviews


Guess what? Devil’s Fingers are a real thing! It’s a terrifying looking fungus that looks straight out of an alien nightmare. Their actual name is Clathrus Archeri, and watching one “hatch” will make your stomach turn. Don’t believe me? Check this out…

 

If you’re intrigued by the terrible things I do with this horror fungus, click here to order The Devil’s Fingers today! 


And for those audiobook lovers out there, the first 50 people to pre-order my One Size Eats All audiobook from Graphic Audio will get a free Grand Pa Guignol yo-yo!

One Size

New York Overrun By Rabid Rats! RATTUS NEW YORKUS Has Arrived

Novella #2 in my ONE SIZE EATS ALL trilogy, RATTUS NEW YORKUS, has just hopped off the 4 train and is swarming Grand Central Station as we speak.

Rattus New Yorkus cover

THEY’RE BIGGER
Deep in the sewers of New York City, the rat population is growing. Dr. Randolph Finch is determined to break the cycle. His new rodenticide, Degenesis, doesn’t kill rats. It sterilizes them from reproducing. But nothing adapts faster than a New York rat . . .

THEY’RE SMARTER
City exterminators and soon-to-be divorced Chris and Benita Jackson think they know how these rats think. They know how rats breed. And they fear that Degenesis has only made these rats stronger. More aggressive. More intelligent. And more ravenous than ever . . .

TONIGHT’S DINNER SPECIAL: US
After a noticeable surge in rat den activity, the Jacksons witness something strange. Without warning, the rats disappear—only to reassemble in a massive lair beneath Grand Central Station. Millions upon millions of them. Working together. Operating as a hive mind. Feasting on the flesh of the homeless below—and planning their all-out attack on the unsuspecting humans above . . .

How much more fun could this book could be? The answer is none! None more fun!” – Char’s Horror Corner

All you have to do is buckle up because it is full tilt boogie from the first page to the last.” – Cedar Hollow Reviews

So grab your traps and favorite ‘rat bashin’ bat’ and get on down to the Big Apple.

BUY RATTUS NEW YORKUS FOR ONLY $1.99 HERE! 

Book Deal of the Week!

Howdy Hellions! While I’m out and about on vacation this week and getting ready to jump into a brand new career next week, I just wanted to pop in and let you all know that MAIL ORDER MASSACRES is now on sale for just 99 cents-a-roonio! “Whaaaaaaat?” you say. That’s right! For the same price as a McChicken on the McDonald’s dollar menu, you get three insane novellas all rolled into one! I’m not sure how long this sale will last, so grab it while you can. 

Mail Order Massacres

Sea monkeys. 3-D specs. Hypno-coins. Ant farms. Kryptonite rocks. Miniature submarines made from cardboard. All available for a buck or less from the back page of comic books. And we blew our weekly allowance on these rip-offs, only to be disappointed when they turned out to be total crap. But what if these bogus products had side effects not advertised? In horror master Hunter Shea’s MAIL ORDER MASSACRE, sometimes you do get more than you paid for . . . JUST ADD WATER It’s been years since David and Patrick flushed away the dead Sea Serpents they got in the mail. After thriving in the toxic stew of pollution, strange, slimy creatures now rise from the sewers. Once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re massive monsters. . . and ravenous for human flesh! OPTICAL DELUSION Martin punishes his son for wasting his allowance on a pair of cardboard X-ray specs. But when Martin tries them on, he’s stunned to see through walls and clothes. But the novelty becomes a waking nightmare when the glasses burn into his face and he starts seeing horrifying apocalyptic visions no mortal man was ever meant to see. Images that turn him from a husband and father to a bloodthirsty homicidal maniac . . . MONEY BACK GUARANTEE With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. But when her son nearly drowns in the swimming pool, an enraged Rosemary complains to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband disappear. Now it’s all-out war. Plus, Rosemary wants her $1.99 back! Praise for Hunter Shea “A lot of splattery fun.”-Publishers Weekly

Cover Reveal – RATTUS NEW YORKUS!

I can’t believe I finally got to write about killer swarms of rats in New York City. And no, these rats aren’t content to just drag slices of pizza around. Here is the absolutely wonderful cover for my upcoming novella, RATTUS NEW YORKUS, available this August through Lyrical Underground. This is book #2 in my ONE SIZE EATS ALL series.

Rattus New Yorkus cover

Doing research for the book, I met with exterminators to learn about rat and mouse behavior and how hard they are to, let’s just say, ‘make them swim with the fishes’. I was horrified by the stories they told me. I walked away feeling 100% sure that the rats will eventually own big cities.

And now, a little about the book….

HEY’RE BIGGER
Deep in the sewers of New York City, the rat population is growing. Dr. Randolph Finch is determined to break the cycle. His new rodenticide, Degenesis, doesn’t kill rats. It sterilizes them from reproducing. But nothing adapts faster than a New York rat . . .

THEY’RE SMARTER
City exterminators and soon-to-be divorced Chris and Benita Jackson think they know how these rats think. They know how rats breed. And they fear that Degenesis has only made these rats stronger. More aggressive. More intelligent. And more ravenous than ever . . .

TONIGHT’S DINNER SPECIAL: US
After a noticable surge in rat den activity, the Jacksons witness something strange. Without warning, the rats disappear—only to reassemble in a massive lair beneath Grand Central Station. Millions upon millions of them. Working together. Operating as a hive mind. Feasting on the flesh of the homeless below—and planning their all-out attack on the unsuspecting humans above . . .


RATTUS NEW YORKUS will be available in ebook only, at least for now. Here’s hoping we get a print edition like MAIL ORDER MASSACRES.

CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER RATTUS NEW YORKUS TODAY

“Hilarious Creature-Feature Gorefest” – Publishers Weekly Reviews JURASSIC FLORIDA

Talk about your pleasant surprises! Publishers Weekly just dropped a review for my upcoming Lyrical Underground novella, JURASSIC FLORIDA, and it looks like they dig it! Here’s the review :

The tiny town of Polo Springs, Fla., is the epicenter of this hilarious creature-feature gorefest from pulp horror maven Shea (The Jersey Devil). Eighteen-year-old Ann Hickok is the town’s mayor, and she’s got two problems: Hurricane Ramona is bearing down on Polo Springs, and the city is infested with tiny iguanas. When Ramona makes landfall, Ann learns that lurking beneath the ground are the giant lizards spawning all the little critters, and they’re about to unleash hell. Few of the 317 residents will be spared. Shea introduces a variety of characters, including a wayward New York City mobster, but readers shouldn’t get too attached to them. What the book lacks in plot, it more than makes up in twisted humor and campy horror. Those looking for a brain break and a bloody mess will revel in this promising series launch. 

Folks at Lyrical Underground suggested I start making merch that says PULP HORROR MAVEN. Hmmmmm. I just love that the reviewer totally gets the vibe of the book. To say I’m thrilled about the PW review is the understatement of the year. This is the best start for my ONE SIZE EATS ALL series I could have asked for. If you’re looking for a fun beach read with lots of monster stomping fun, this is for you.

JURASSIC FLORIDA

JURASSIC FLORIDA comes out on June 19th wherever ebooks are sold. You can pre-order your copy today by clicking here.

Catherine Cavendish – WAKING THE ANCIENTS

Spinner of terrifying tales of ghosts and restless spirits, Catherine Cavendish has a new book of creeping dread for fans old and new. Today, I let her haunt my blog with a little something she calls, THE PEDLAR AND THE DEVIL….

 

pic 1 - Copy 

I have set a large part of Waking the Ancients in Vienna, Austria where many ghosts and restless spirits walk among the verdant parks and lavish palaces. But Austrian ghosts do not confine themselves to their nation’s imperial capital. They can be found in towns, cities, villages and the depths of the countryside all over this beautiful land.

In the beautiful mountainous region of Tyrol, many legends and myths abound. One curious one involves a spectral game of bowls.

A pedlar became lost on the side of the mountain as darkness fell. Disorientated, he kept going until he came to the ancient ruined castle of Starkenberg. There, exhausted, he decided to take shelter for the night and laid down to sleep in the remains of a great hall. He slept for some hours, waking to hear the clock of a nearby village strike midnight. To his astonishment, as the last chime echoed across the rocks, twelve ghostly figures, clad in full armour, manifested in the room and proceeded to play a game of bowls – only they used skulls instead of balls.

pic 2 - Copy

 

As luck would have it, the pedlar was quite a bowls player himself. In fact he was the champion of his village. Also, being made of sterner stuff, he offered to play each of the spirits in turn. He was quite surprised when his challenge was accepted. One by one he defeated them all and quite expected to be met with anger as a result. Quite the reverse. To his astonishment, the spectral army congratulated him and gave whoops of joy. They told him that now he had beaten them, they could be released from purgatory. As soon as they said this, they vanished, leaving the pedlar alone. He looked all around, trying to discover where they had gone but to no avail. Then, ten more ghostly knights appeared, each through a different door which they locked carefully behind them. They brought the keys to the pedlar and gave them to him saying he must now determine which was the right key for each door.

pic 3 - Copy

 

All the keys and all the doors were identical – or appeared to be. The pedlar accepted the challenge and it took him quite a while but he successfully accomplished the task and the ten ghostly figures thanked him profusely, assuring him that his actions had also released them from purgatory, before they too vanished.

Things were all going a bit too well up to now and the pedlar was feeling delighted with himself. His confidence knew no bounds.

But then the devil himself appeared, in a foul temper. He castigated the pedlar for robbing him of twenty two souls and declared that his soul must be forfeit instead. The brave (or exceptionally foolhardy) pedlar argued and declared he would play the devil one game of bowls to decide whether his soul should be forever damned and belong to Lucifer, or whether he should be allowed to go free.

pic 4 (2)

 

Once again, the pedlar triumphed and beat his evil counterpart soundly. As soon as the first cock crowed in the morning, the devil launched himself into the air with scorching sulfur breath that burned the grass where he had been. He took off, his massive wings beating the air, leaving the pedlar triumphant.

Needless to say, the pedlar told anyone who was prepared to listen about his extraordinary night on the mountain. No one believed him of course, until they too trekked up to the castle…and saw the burned and withered grass, exactly as the pedlar had described it.

pic 5 (2)

 

Waking the Ancients

Legacy In Death

Egypt, 1908

University student Lizzie Charters accompanies her mentor, Dr. Emeryk Quintillus, on the archeological dig to uncover Cleopatra’s tomb. Her presence is required for a ceremony conducted by the renowned professor to resurrect Cleopatra’s spirit—inside Lizzie’s body. Quintillus’s success is short-lived, as the Queen of the Nile dies soon after inhabiting her host, leaving Lizzie’s soul adrift . . .

Vienna, 2018

Paula Bancroft’s husband just leased Villa Dürnstein, an estate once owned by Dr. Quintillus. Within the mansion are several paintings and numerous volumes dedicated to Cleopatra. But the archeologist’s interest in the Egyptian empress deviated from scholarly into supernatural, infusing the very foundations of his home with his dark fanaticism. And as inexplicable manifestations rattle Paula’s senses, threatening her very sanity, she uncovers the link between the villa, Quintillus, and a woman named Lizzie Charters.

And a ritual of dark magic that will consume her soul . . .

You can find Waking the Ancients here:

Kensington Press

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Apple

Google

Kobo

About the Author:

pic 6 (2)

Following a varied career in sales, advertising and career guidance, Catherine Cavendish is now the full-time author of a number of paranormal, ghostly and Gothic horror novels, novellas and short stories. Cat’s novels include the Nemesis of the Gods trilogy – Wrath of the Ancients, Waking the Ancients and Damned by the Ancients, plus The Devil’s Serenade, The Pendle Curse and Saving Grace Devine. She lives with her long-suffering husband, and a black cat who has never forgotten that her species used to be worshipped in ancient Egypt. She sees no reason why that practice should not continue. Cat and her family divide their time between Liverpool and a 260-year-old haunted apartment in North Wales.

You can connect with Cat here:

Catherine Cavendish

Facebook

Twitter

Goodreads

All 3 Mail Order Massacres Now In Print!

That’s right, all 3 novellas in the Mail Order Massacres series – JUST ADD WATER, OPTICAL DELUSION & MONEY BACK GUARANTEE, are now in one collection, aptly titled MAIL ORDER MASSACRES. It’s is officially available today in both ebook and print.

Mail Order Massacres

Sea monkeys. 3-D specs. Hypno-coins. Ant farms. Kryptonite rocks. Miniature submarines made from cardboard. All available for a buck or less from the back page of comic books. And we blew our weekly allowance on these rip-offs, only to be disappointed when they turned out to be total crap.
 
But what if these bogus products had side effects not advertised? In horror master Hunter Shea’s MAIL ORDER MASSACRE, sometimes you do get more than you paid for . . .

JUST ADD WATER
It’s been years since David and Patrick flushed away the dead Sea Serpents they got in the mail. After thriving in the toxic stew of pollution, strange, slimy creatures now rise from the sewers. Once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re massive monsters. . . and ravenous for human flesh!
 
OPTICAL DELUSION
Martin punishes his son for wasting his allowance on a pair of cardboard X-ray specs. But when Martin tries them on, he’s stunned to see through walls and clothes. But the novelty becomes a waking nightmare when the glasses burn into his face and he starts seeing horrifying apocalyptic visions no mortal man was ever meant to see. Images that turn him from a husband and father to a bloodthirsty homicidal maniac . . .

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. But when her son nearly drowns in the swimming pool, an enraged Rosemary complains to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband disappear. Now it’s all-out war and Rosemary wants her $5.00 back!

ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY! 

Mail trilogy

Guest Post by Author Catherine Cavendish – THE VIENNESE WAY OF DEATH!

We’re going to shake off our Horrortober hangover with a post from one of the best horror writers on both sides of the Atlantic. I first ‘met’ Catherine Cavendish when we were both writing for Samhain. Now we’re together again at Kensington Books. The poor woman can’t shake me. She has a new, terrifying novel out that I can’t wait to dig into. Until then, let’s take a tour of a funeral museum in beautiful Vienna. Take it away, Cat! 

 

pic 1 (1)

 

“Only in Vienna…”

If I had a penny for every time I have heard that expression, I would be living in splendour right now.

My latest novel – Wrath of the Ancientsis largely set in Vienna, Austria’s imperial capital and surely one of the most beautiful and enchanting cities in the world. Its streets team with culture and its proud residents are almost fiercely protective of their enigmatic, sometimes quirky, and endlessly fascinating home, where everyone from Strauss to Klimt and Freud lived and worked.

Vienna is home to well over a hundred museums. It seems there is a museum for almost anything – Chimney Sweeps, Boy Scouts, Tobacco, Trams, Undertakers, Contraception and Abortion… the list goes on and on. And that’s in addition to the wealth of art and history museums on a grand scale. One of the quirkiest – and the first of its kind anywhere in the world – is the Funeral Museum which has been relocated from the centre of Vienna to its new home in the Zentralfriedhof – Vienna’s main cemetery on the outskirts of the city.

 

pic 2 (1)

 

When you enter, you are plunged into a dark, funereal atmosphere where the history of funerals and of the main funeral directors’ company in Vienna – Bestattung Wien – in particular is laid out in all its pomp and ceremony. The Viennese have always had something of a fascination with death and the quest to achieve a Schöne Leich (Literally ‘beautiful corpse’) is a passion. Most frequently that means creating the most lavish of funerals. This was especially the case in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries when it seemed people vied with each other to create the most over-the-top ceremony.

Bestattung Wien pride themselves on being able to create the most unusual and individually designed funerals. So successful are they that people even come from abroad in order to have their unique vision executed. Funeral tourism! The company handles some 20,000 funerals a year, in Vienna and the surrounding area. Anything from traditional limousines, to horse-drawn vehicles, coffins made by their own coffin makers and pretty much anything your heart desires can be arranged – at a price of course. The museum features insignia, ceremonial uniforms, lanterns, a full size horse-drawn hearse containing a coffin (but minus the horses, of course!)

 

pic 3 (1)

 

In a more modern vein, there is a display cabinet featuring a number of items including a small box with a tiny blue diamond. Yes, this is someone’s ashes, turned into an imitation diamond. The relative could, if they wanted, have this mounted into a piece of jewellery so they could wear their loved one around their neck, on their wrist, finger or even in a brooch worn over their heart. All this is on display at the museum, providing a unique insight into the Viennese way of death.

You will also see death masks, and a picture showing the specially designed Sitzsarg or ‘sitting-up’ coffin, based on a painting by Rene Magritte. Only one of these was ever made and it used to be on show but apparently not anymore.

 

pic 4 (1)

 

Also on display are reminders that medical science was not always as accurate as it is today when determining whether a person was actually dead. In the first half of the 19th century, there was a widespread fear of being buried alive so a piece of string was attached to the deceased’s finger before burial. This string led into the cemetery warden’s office so that, in the event the ‘corpse’ woke up, they would ring the bell. Sadly, this led to a great many false alarms. Decomposition, shifting earth, release of gases after death all lead to changes in the position of the body sufficient to make the bell ring. Eventually the wardens got so fed up, they ceased the practice of attaching the warning bells, but you can see them here.

Even today, if you are still concerned that you might wake up after being buried, you can specify another option to ensure this could never happen by stating in your Will that, once your death has been pronounced, a thin stiletto-like knife should be used to pierce your heart. Now there can be no mistake. In the museum, one such stiletto is displayed in all its glory, on purple velvet in a glass case. Chilling. That will cost you 300 Euros.

In the so-called Age of Enlightenment, in the 18th century, Emperor Josef II saw fit to ban all cemeteries from the centre of Vienna and introduced the ‘reusable’ coffin. This contained a retractable hatch at the bottom. The body was placed in it, lowered, and the hatch released. The corpse, wrapped only in a sack would then fall into the grave. The coffin could then be used again and again. Needless to say, this did not agree with the Viennese way of death, the ‘beautiful corpse’ and all the pomp and ceremony and was abandoned.

 

pic 5 (1)

 

The museum also features a section dedicated to the burials of six famous people from the modern era– some of whom may be less familiar to non-Austrians although Falco (Rock me Amadeus) is well-remembered, as is Curd Jürgens the actor who played a Bond villain in The Spy Who Loved Me.

The Viennese dark sense of humour is also evident in the museum’s gift shop where it is possible to buy coffin shaped USB memory sticks and cigarette cases bearing the words, Rauchen sichert Arbeitsplätze (‘smoking secures jobs’).

 

pic 6 (1)

As I said at the beginning, “Only in Vienna…”

 

pic 7 (1)

 

Destiny In Death

Egypt, 1908

Eminent archaeologist Dr. Emeryk Quintillus has unearthed the burial chamber of Cleopatra. But this tomb raider’s obsession with the Queen of the Nile has nothing to do with preserving history. Stealing sacred and priceless relics, he murders his expedition crew, and flees—escaping the quake that swallows the site beneath the desert sands . . .

Vienna, 1913

Young widow Adeline Ogilvy has accepted employment at the mansion of Dr. Quintillus, transcribing the late professor’s memoirs. Within the pages of his journals, she discovers the ravings of a madman convinced he possessed the ability to reincarnate Cleopatra. Within the walls of his home, she is assailed by unexplained phenomena: strange sounds, shadowy figures, and apparitions of hieroglyphics.

Something pursued Dr. Quintillus from Egypt. Something dark, something hungry. Something tied to the fate and future of Adeline Ogilvy . . .

Wrath Of The Ancients

Available from:

Amazon

Nook

iApple

Google

Kobo

About the Author:

pic 8

Following a varied career in sales, advertising and career guidance, Catherine Cavendish is now the full-time author of a number of paranormal, ghostly and Gothic horror novels, novellas and short stories. She was the joint winner of the Samhain Gothic Horror Anthology Competition, with Linden Manor. Cat’s novels include the Nemesis of the Gods trilogy – Wrath of the Ancients, Waking the Ancients and Damned by the Ancients, plus The Devil’s Serenade, The Pendle CurseSaving Grace Devine and many more. She lives with her long-suffering husband, and a black cat who has never forgotten that her species used to be worshiped in ancient Egypt. She sees no reason why that practice should not continue. Cat and her family divide their time between Liverpool and a 260-year-old haunted apartment in North Wales.

You can connect with Cat here:

Catherine Cavendish

Facebook

Twitter

Goodreads

 

New Release: MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

Imagine buying your son a nuclear submarine from the pages of his favorite comic book. His joy in receiving a cheap cardboard sub in the mail is quickly followed by near tragedy. You want your money back (and to kick some ass for making such a thing), but the company that made it is going to take so much more from you unless you go to the source and put a stop to it.

And there you have the final installment of my MAIL ORDER MASSACRES trilogy, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. It’s now available everywhere ebooks are sold for only $1.99!

Money Back Guarantee

The early reviews have been fantastic. If we get more of these, coupled with robust sales, I believe Lyrical Press may ask for more stories!

“Fast moving and gripping. I love the hell out of the concept behind this series.” — Michael Patrick Hicks, author of Mass Hysteria and Black Site

A fast-paced romp that will leave you smiling and cringing in equal measures. The last selection in Hunter Shea’s “Mail Order Massacres” series is my personal favorite of the three.” Horror After Dark

“A fast paced story that can easily be knocked off in one sitting. Was it fun? Hell, yeah! Was it engaging? Oh yes!…highly recommended!” — Char’s Horror Corner

So put down that comic book and take a wild ride into madness and revenge!

CLICK HERE TO BUY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE TODAY! 

New Mail Order Massacres Release – JUST ADD WATER

The very first of my Mail Order Massacres novellas, JUST ADD WATER, has leapt from the pages of comic books and into homes everywhere! Did you ever order Sea Monkeys from a comic book as a kid? In JUST ADD WATER, two boys tear the order form from a Wonder Woman comic for a chance to own the Amazing Live Sea Serpents. That was their first mistake.


Just Add Water Large ad

GROW AMAZING LIVE SEA SERPENTS!

It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:

Just add water . . . and watch them grow!

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .

WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.

It’s been weeks since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .


All of the books in the Mail Order Massacres series are quick, nostalgic, humorous and gory trips back to the late 1970s and early 1980s. All are based on what you used to be able to order from the pages of comic books…gone horribly wrong. Optical Delusion comes out in August, followed by Money Back Guarantee in October. For now, sprinkle your Sea Serpents in your tank and watch ’em grow! Have a gun nearby.

JUST ADD WATER is only $1.99, just like all those comic book goodies back in the day!

just-add-water

Now, if you stuck with me this far, answer this question for a chance to win a free copy of the book. What did you want most from those comic book wonders when you were a kid?

%d bloggers like this: