New Mail Order Massacres Release – JUST ADD WATER
The very first of my Mail Order Massacres novellas, JUST ADD WATER, has leapt from the pages of comic books and into homes everywhere! Did you ever order Sea Monkeys from a comic book as a kid? In JUST ADD WATER, two boys tear the order form from a Wonder Woman comic for a chance to own the Amazing Live Sea Serpents. That was their first mistake.
GROW AMAZING LIVE SEA SERPENTS!
It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:
Just add water . . . and watch them grow!
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .
WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.
It’s been weeks since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .
All of the books in the Mail Order Massacres series are quick, nostalgic, humorous and gory trips back to the late 1970s and early 1980s. All are based on what you used to be able to order from the pages of comic books…gone horribly wrong. Optical Delusion comes out in August, followed by Money Back Guarantee in October. For now, sprinkle your Sea Serpents in your tank and watch ’em grow! Have a gun nearby.
JUST ADD WATER is only $1.99, just like all those comic book goodies back in the day!
Now, if you stuck with me this far, answer this question for a chance to win a free copy of the book. What did you want most from those comic book wonders when you were a kid?
Hunter Shea 
I wanted the AIR CAR: HOVERCRAFT RIDES ON AIR! All that for, like, $4.50! I never actually ordered any of that crap, but I did send $5 or $10 for some HOW TO DRAW COMIC ART books that never came. Bastards. My 11-year-old daughter asked me about Sea Monkeys the other day. I told her for $.99 I’d explain it to her.
I bought Sea Monkeys to have near me while I wrote the book. We thought they’d never die! LOL
X Ray Specs. Of course, I assumed that they would allow me to see through clothing, not skin, thus setting my adolescent mind on fire with the possibilities!
Hahahaha! I think we all thought the same thing as young lads.
Chuck, you win a free copy of Just Add Water! Please send an email to huntershea1@gmail.com and I’ll get the info out to you.
I wanted real living sea monkeys!! I waited and waited but they never did grow into monkeys with gills…I was so bummed.
I was pretty upset that they didn’t look anything like the ad. At least they did hatch and grow, though. LOL
Amanda, you win a free copy of Just Add Water! Please send an email to huntershea1@gmail.com and I’ll get the info out to you.
Just finished this. Such a fun read and can’t wait for your next one.
Optical Delusion will be out next month. Get your X Ray specs ready.